3 main reasons why it is helpful to know yourself

As human beings, we can spend a lot of time worrying about our relationships with other people. But, in reality, the only relationship that really matters in life is the one you have with yourself.


The only person who travels with you through your whole life is you. Yes, it is only you right from the cradle to the grave. I don’t mean to sound morbid; this is only meant to emphasise the importance of the relationship with yourself and the importance of knowing yourself.

The three most important reasons for self-knowledge:

1. Self-love

If you know yourself, the good, the bad and the ugly, you can start to accept who you are - exactly as you are. It can feel like a challenge to accept some aspects of your character that you don’t perceive as positive, such as laziness.

However, if that is part of you, it is important to honour that instead of denying it. It is still there, even if you deny it. Learning to see the benefits of laziness, enjoying it and not letting it work against you will lead you to be able to embrace it as part of who you are, and to, therefore, love it. From love, you can move on to nurturing, to growing, developing, thriving and flourishing.

Know yourself to improve yourself.

- Auguste Comte

2. Independence

Self-knowledge makes you independent of the opinions of others. If you know what works for you - what is good for you and, therefore, what isn’t - it is irrelevant what others might think and advise.

You are the expert of your own being. You are in charge of your thoughts and you are your own personality.

Independence and self-awareness are also linked to confidence. By knowing who you are and what you stand for in life can help to give you a strong sense of self-confidence.

In order to be yourself, you have to know yourself.

- Dr Mariette Jansen

3. Clear decision making

As we know, with knowledge comes insight and confidence - and this can make the decision-making process (for both simple and complicated choices) much easier. There is not a lot of space for doubt once you have gained that full insight.

We all speak two languages: the language of the heart and that of the head. If they are aligned it is easy to make a decision. But if they aren’t it just depends on your mood what you think is right or wrong.

An example: you are in the process of buying a house and you find the one that ticks all the boxes (in your head). However, there is something about the house that doesn’t sit well. You are not sure what it is, but it doesn’t feel right.

Having two different dialogues in your system makes it impossible to be clear. Today, your head is ruling and you want to buy the house, tomorrow, it’s your heart telling you to not go ahead with the purchase. Aligning your head and heart will give clarity, which supports easy decision making.

It is hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions than by putting those decisions in the hands of people who pay no price for being wrong.

- Thomas Sowell

If you want to take steps towards getting to know yourself better, please continue on to read the article ‘Four ways to get to know yourself better’.

How can coaching help?

Coaching can offer a safe, non-judgmental space to learn more about yourself, develop skills and grow, whether in your personal life or in your professional life. A coach will be able to use their skills to encourage self-reflection and self-study through questioning techniques while offering a sense of accountability. If you think you would benefit from the support of a coach at this time, use the search tool to find a coach near you. 

To find out more or to enquire about sessions with me, just send me a message.

The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Life Coach Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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Weybridge, Surrey, KT13
Written by Mariette Jansen
Weybridge, Surrey, KT13

Dr Mariette Jansen (Dr De-Stress) is a psychological coach, using therapy models, coaching techniques and mindfulness meditation to help you become balanced, stress free and in control of your life.
Focus areas are work-life balance, confidence, food/diet stress and general stress.

Author of two books: on meditation and exam stress.


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