5 tips to boost first date confidence
Dating dilemmas is a hot topic for many of clients who struggle with first date nerves, anxieties, insecurities and in some cases has led them to give up on the idea that one day they’ll meet that special someone.
It’s so easy to think too much about a first date. So, how can you boost your confidence and make sure that your first date is the best it possibly can be?
I’ve put together 5 proven confident boosting tips on what to do and what not to do;
1. Calm yourself right down
You’re excited, you’re nervous - and so the cycle begins. We’ve all been there and suffered from the initial dating anxiety. So, how can we calm those jangling nerves that send our endorphins through the roof?
To avoid getting into a frenzy before your date it’s important to focus on YOU. Don’t leg it from work or leave everything to last minute. Give yourself time to relax and unwind. Try listening to music, go to the gym or do something that you know is going to boost your mood. This first step is key as it will place you in the right frame of mind for the evening ahead.
And remember – you’re date will be feeling exactly the same, even if they don’t look or say it!
2. Look good and you’ll feel good
If you look good, then you’re going to feel good, so be sure to make the effort. If you’re going from work then ditch the formal work attire. Be comfortable, look sharp and don’t arrive in a sweaty mess. Make sure you smell great, as this can create a good connection and is a great flirting tool.
Follow these pointers and your date will know you’ve made a huge effort.
3. Go armed and do your homework
Hopefully before the date you would have chatted either online, by text/phone or maybe you’ve met before - maybe at an event or at a mutual friends gathering etc.
Whatever the case maybe, it’s essential that you go into the first the date armed with a few facts about them, and an idea of their interests.
This will help you to open up a conversation and will ease any awkwardness.
4. Compliment. But do it right!
Direct compliments will display confidence, but make sure they are not bland. If you compliment your date on something that genuinely impresses you, then that will go a long way and they’ll know that you’re not being disingenuous.
So, only issue a compliment if you really mean it because people can smell a fake from miles away and DON’T over compliment. Keep it fun and flirty, because the more the give, the more you are likely to receive.
5. Just be ‘you’
The first date is a chance to show the real you. Don’t go into the date trying to be the person you think your date wants you to be. If you do that, then you’re not being honest to yourself or to your long-term dating goals.
You want someone to like you (and to potentially love you) for who you are, a false version of you will eventually catch you out down the line if the relationship flourishes and then it’ll become a sticky and tricky situation. So leave that spade at home!
If the first date went well, then great! You can look ahead to date number two.
However, if you didn't get a second and you feel rejected, try to put a positive spin on your experience. Each date you have is great practice for the next one. Think of each date as a stepping stone to the moment you find someone that you really like and vice-versa. If you go into dating with this mindset, then you’re likely to be less nervous and more confident.
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About Gary Turner
Dealing with dating/relationship anxiety is on the increase since online and mobile dating apps were born.
I hope the information in this article is useful to your dating dilemmas and proves to be as useful to you, as it has been for my clients.
If you'd like information on relationship or other modes of coaching, please get in touch.