How to improve self-confidence

Confidence is a feeling of self-assurance and belief in our own abilities. It is a key ingredient for success in many areas of life, including personal relationships, career, and overall well-being.

When we have confidence in ourselves and our abilities, we are more likely to take on challenges and reach our goals. We are better equipped to handle stress, overcome obstacles, and make decisions.

But what if we don't feel confident? Lacking confidence can hold us back and prevent us from reaching our full potential. It can cause us to second-guess ourselves, hesitate to act, and hold us back from what we really want.

I have struggled with low confidence at different points in my life and with different areas. I have always envied those that seem 'naturally confident', those that put themselves 'out there', and feel sure of themselves.

Growing up, as a teenager, and in my 20s and 30s I was plagued by self-doubt. In my career, externally, people viewed me as confident but, internally, I felt small, unsure and inadequate. Now, in my 40s I feel so much more confident than I ever did. There are times I still struggle (like a lot of us do), but I have learned techniques to help me when I am feeling unconfident. With effort and practice, you can learn to improve your self belief and confidence.

6 tips to help you to build your confidence

1. Take small steps outside of your comfort zone

Start by doing things that scare you a little bit, but not so much that you feel overwhelmed. Each time you do something that pushes you out of your comfort zone, you'll build resilience and confidence.

2. Celebrate your achievements

Acknowledge and celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem. Ask friends or colleagues to help you to do this - they are likely to think of things that you might not have considered. Focusing on your successes will help you to build momentum and increase your confidence.

3. Practice self-compassion

Be aware of your thoughts, speak kindly to yourself and avoid negative self-talk. Talk to yourself as you would a friend, with kindness and understanding. Try being your own cheer leader rather than your own self critic.

4. Affirmations

I am a big fan of affirmations. They can work as a tool for shifting your mindset. An affirmation is a positive statement about yourself which you would like to feel but currently do not. The affirmation I used to say to myself all the time (over and over) was, "I am confident, capable and in control." It was amazing how many people then played that back to me in terms of how they described me at work. These affirmations are to be repeated several times a day to help create positive mindset.

5. Surround yourself with positivity

Surround yourself with positive, confident people who lift you up. Avoid negative people or 'radiators' who drain your energy or belittle you. Seek out friends, family members, coaches or mentors who support you, encourage you, and believe in you.

6. Smile

When you smile, your body releases endorphins, which have a positive effect on your mood. Smiling can also help to reduce stress and when you feel good about yourself, you are more likely to project confidence to others. If you are feeling low in confidence, try forcing a smile. Even if you don't feel like it, the act of smiling can help to trick your brain into thinking that you are happy and confident.

By practising these steps, you'll be well on your way to feeling more confident. If you would like further support and coaching on how to increase confidence, then get in touch.