Confidence - stripped bare

Confidence – that elusive quality many of us seek, often feels like a distant dream. We yearn for it, as we believe that with more confidence, we will finally take the bold steps needed to shape our desired lives. We despise the gnawing feeling of inadequacy that accompanies the absence of confidence. But what is confidence, truly?

What is confidence? 

Confidence, in its essence, is the unwavering belief that we can achieve the outcomes we desire. It's the inner assurance that we possess the capability to tackle life's challenges head-on. The confidence we covet the most is not a confidence in something external to us enabling our desired outcomes; it resides within ourselves, manifesting as self-confidence.

If we dissect this notion of confidence, we discover that it is primarily a memory-based experience. It arises from having done something before, granting us the knowledge of what to expect, or from similar past experiences that inform our expectations of future outcomes.

When we venture into uncharted territory where we have no memory of success, two options present themselves. We can either take smaller steps for which we do have a memory, or we can muster the courage to plunge into the unknown. The latter; building the courage to act in the face of uncertainty; is where the real growth lies and what deserves our ultimate attention.

As you build the courage to let go of these clouds, you'll unveil the radiant confidence that has always been within you.

Here, the concept of 'self' comes to the forefront. The truth is, we covet confidence as the holy grail, but courage is most needed when we fear potential negative consequences to our 'sense of self' and doubt our ability to cope with this.

While positive psychology can offer some insights, a more direct path to genuine confidence lies in understanding your true self and the implications of this realisation. Real confidence is the unwavering knowledge that you will be okay, regardless of the outcome, and that your well-being is never in jeopardy.

So, where can we find this knowledge?

Surprisingly, the answer lies not in psychology, but in physics.

The essence of confidence is concealed within the relationship between subject and object, in our perception of reality. When we recognise something as an object, we separate ourselves from it and become the subject. This understanding is the first step to unlocking real confidence.

Consider this: Even your thoughts are objects, albeit non-physical ones. Realising this fundamental truth leads you to understand that, aside from your thoughts, you are already 100% confident. Your true self is inherently confident, but the thoughts in your mind mask this truth. You mistakenly identify with your thoughts as if they define you.

When you disentangle yourself from this identification with your thoughts, your innate confidence shines through. Initially, you may still feel the echoes of past insecurities, but with time, these remnants fade away. The courage lies in acknowledging the truth while recognising that your lingering feelings are mere ghostly echoes of past beliefs. This newfound understanding empowers you to take action, regardless of the remnants of doubt.
 
In conclusion, confidence is not an external quality to be acquired, but an internal realisation to be uncovered. It's the understanding that you are already confident at your core, and your thoughts are mere passing clouds obscuring your brilliance. As you build the courage to let go of these clouds, you'll unveil the radiant confidence that has always been within you, ready to guide you towards your aspirations.  As one of my mentors once said to me, ‘100% of your courage today becomes 100% confidence tomorrow'.

If you’d like to know more about the workings of your mind and how to realise that deep well of pure confidence within you, let’s have a conversation. Alternatively, you can take one of my free masterclasses.