What is EROS coaching?

The EROS formula is a practical framework designed to help people manage emotions, make better decisions and achieve more positive outcomes in life's events. Inspired by the Greek Eros and created from a desire to spread a love of life, this approach provides a structured way to move from emotional reaction to thoughtful response. By considering options, opportunities, skills and factors beyond our control, the EROS formula offers valuable guidance for life coaching, personal development and reflective practice.

Eros is a formula which can be applied to life.

It came from a desire to spread a love of life and, by no coincidence, is called EROS after the Greek Eros of mythology.

It has been shared many times with many different types of people and has received much helpful feedback.

The formula

E + R = O α S

It represents an event happening to which we feel an emotion. That emotion is a reaction.

If it comes from a place of love, we can go with it and expect a good outcome.

If it does not, we need to consider how we can respond rather than react.

The O, of course, stands for outcome, which is either positive, negative or OK.

Two further O's to consider before reaching the outcome are options and opportunity.

A reaction is an opportunity to ask what our options are.

Are we hoping for a positive outcome, and how might we respond to achieve it?

STOP

The mnemonic STOP is good here:

S – Stop
T – Think
O – Opportunity
P – Plan

You are creating a space between the reaction and your action by saying to yourself, "Stop!"

Do you already have a plan that has achieved a positive outcome in the past when you faced a similar event?

Or have you prepared for such an event by planning for it?

If we do not already have a plan, then perhaps we can go to another mnemonic to help us devise one.

TAKE TIME

The mnemonic TAKE TIME is worth considering here.

Training

Have I received any specific training that I can call on to help me get a good outcome here?

Awareness

Am I seeing the full picture here, or have I allowed an emotion to hijack my thinking to the extent that I am being small-minded?

Knowledge

What have I learned from books that may help me here to get a good outcome?

What is my inner knowing trying to tell me here?

Experience

Have I faced this event in the past?

How did I react or respond then?

What outcome did that achieve?

If it was negative or just OK, what did I learn from it to make it better the next time?

Who do I know who has faced such an event?

What was their reaction or response, and how did it affect their results?

Can I model my response upon theirs?

Tools

What tools and techniques do I have that will help me to achieve a good outcome?

Intuition

What do I feel intuitively here?

Is my inner voice telling me to respond in a certain way?

Motivation

What is my motivation factor here?

Am I motivated by fear or passion?

Is my motivation towards or away from?

How can I motivate myself in such a way that a good outcome is most likely?

Execution

What must I do next if I am to achieve a good outcome?

DO IT!

Reflective practice

After the doing is done, you have an outcome.

This is where reflective practice can be helpful if we are to improve our likelihood of good outcomes in life's events on a more consistent basis.

The alpha symbol, α, as it appears in the formula, stands for the operator "is proportional to".

So we have an outcome that is likely to be proportional to the S factor.

The S factor

There are many S factors which affect the outcomes we achieve in life's events, but for now, we will just consider the big two:

• Skills
• Situations Beyond Our Control

So we reflect upon the skills we used, or failed to use, to achieve our outcome.

This is where we can develop beyond all expectations if we really work at it. However, we must recognise that sometimes, no matter how skilful we were, no matter how good our plan was, there are just some events over which we have no control.

The key here is the ability to let go of our natural desire to ruminate and wallow.

The serenity principle

The well-known Serenity Prayer epitomises this concept:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.

EROS and life coaching

This EROS formula has been tried and tested over a number of years and is very useful in providing structure to life coaching.

Constructive comments are welcome, as it is in the loving energy known as EROS that I have offered this systematic approach to managing emotions and behaviour.

Peace

If we can achieve good outcomes to 80% of life's events, we are well on the way to achieving what I believe to be life's goal:

PEACE

Pleasant Enjoyment, Acceptance and Constant Evolution