Why slow and steady change can be more sustainable

When I started my personal development journey, I wanted big, long-lasting change and I wanted it immediately. Except I was sporadic with my efforts. I’d always been all or nothing.

I’d throw myself into the latest solution that was going to fix everything, but usually the “solution” wasn’t sustainable. Eventually, I’d give up or lose my way, unable to maintain the momentum consistently over the long term. I’d half-heartedly try to change things and then get frustrated when they didn’t provide the miracle I was immediately looking for.

I started to think that change wasn’t possible for me and, to be honest, that thought almost broke me. Then I decided to try something I’d never tried before.

I decided to see what would happen if I committed to change in a slow, steady and gradual way. What if I committed to doing just one thing differently, consistently showing up and putting one foot in front of the other, however long it took for things to change?

(Im)patience is a virtue

At first and on the surface, this option seemed far less exciting and much harder work. In the past, I would’ve become bored or lost interest. However, because things were “bad” enough for me at that time, I had to keep returning to my end goal, to the thing I wanted, and stay focused on it.

I had to keep asking myself, “Is this going to get me closer to what I want?”

I quickly found that part of my resistance to consistency was that it brought up discomfort for me. I was forced to sit with all the reasons why a quick fix felt much more pleasurable, even though it wasn’t creating the change I wanted, and the frustration of not being able to magic my way to things being different.

We live in an “I want it now” society, where so much is available at our fingertips. As well as providing instant gratification, this can allow us to avoid asking ourselves deeper questions. Our commitment may then begin to waver at the first hurdle.

So, how did I overcome this?

I looked within. I became curious about the resistance I was experiencing and what it was really telling me. I became curious about the things I was trying to avoid with a quick fix. I began looking to myself for answers instead of placing all my power in the hands of others.

I’ve learned time and again that looking only outside myself was unlikely to create the lasting change I wanted. I needed to take responsibility for the changes that were within my control.

A new job, pay rise, house or holiday can make a meaningful difference to someone’s life. However, these changes do not necessarily resolve every source of dissatisfaction, and sometimes they offer only temporary relief.

That’s OK if temporary relief is what you need. However, if you want lasting change, it can be helpful to recognise that, although some beliefs and perspectives can shift relatively quickly, meaningful change often requires commitment, patience and consistent action.

The irony is that consistency can help the change process, but we often don’t stick with things for long enough to recognise the results. Instead, we may focus our desires on external things because looking within can feel uncomfortable.

We may tell ourselves that it’s too difficult to look to ourselves for answers, or we may never have been encouraged to recognise the influence we can have over our choices and direction. This is partly why I avoided it for so long.

Once I had built a stronger relationship with myself and my needs, consistency became easier. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, and I discovered that I could guide myself towards better things. That does not mean we must find every answer alone; support from friends, family, coaches, or other professionals can also be valuable.

This was an incredibly empowering experience.

When life has been tough, or I’ve faced significant challenges or setbacks, including those outside my control, the thing that has made the biggest difference to my outlook and my ability to keep moving forward has been my commitment to change.

The big changes in my life have come from learning to keep moving, staying committed and not giving up on myself or my dreams. I couldn’t have made the necessary changes if I hadn’t trusted that I could move towards where I wanted to be and find ways through the hurdles in my path.

It’s not all moonlight and roses

Moving forward gradually, step by step, may not sound as glamorous as the promise of instant change. However, ask yourself how many quick fixes you’ve tried that were never really cemented into your life.

How many instant solutions failed to offer the lasting change you hoped for? How many patterns keep playing out repeatedly, even though you know you want something different?

The benefit of gradual change is that, while it may not feel as exciting, it can provide room to develop new habits, patterns of behaviour and beliefs over time. This can help you build an inner foundation of strength and resilience.

This does not mean you will be able to control or overcome every challenge. It may, however, help you feel more capable of adapting, making considered choices and deciding where you need to go next.

Slow and steady progress can help you recognise that you are capable of making meaningful changes because you begin to see evidence of your own efforts. Those changes may also be more sustainable because you understand your needs and have found an approach that works for you.

Eventually, when you look back on the journey from where you were to where you are now, you may see how far you’ve travelled and recognise that you navigated the journey in your own way rather than simply following someone else’s blueprint.

I’ve learned that I am capable of navigating extremely difficult experiences when my commitment and willingness to work on myself match my desire for things to be different.

A steadier and more sustainable approach may help you too.

Are you ready to consider what consistent action could make change a long-term reality?