Five pillars for reflecting on what matters in your life

Recently, I attended a conference called One Woman, facilitated by One of Many. This was me taking time to invest in myself and my personal development. As I sat with 400 other women, I had the opportunity to reflect on how I am showing up as a mum and business owner.

During the conference, we were introduced to five pillars: love, vitality, wealth, vocation and network. I’d like to explore each of these pillars with my own thoughts. Reflecting on the quality and strength of each one can be a useful way to focus on the areas where you want to be more intentional.

Love

Relationships and connections with other people are an important part of many people’s lives. How are you showing up in the area of love? Are you intentional about making time to invest in close relationships despite the busyness of everyday life? If you’re in an intimate relationship, do you and your partner communicate openly about how you each prefer to give and receive affection?

Vitality

Yes, it is possible to be a mum and have vitality and radiance. Sometimes this can feel out of reach, especially when it’s so common to put our own needs last. Acknowledging that self-care is not selfish and can help you function well may be life-changing.

One of my clients said, “If I don’t look after my own needs, I turn into Monster Mummy!” I can really relate to this.

Your needs matter. What do you need to do to invest in yourself? What is essential to bring you energy and recharge your batteries?

Wealth

A few years ago, I listened to a webinar that introduced me to the importance of understanding my “money story”. Many of us develop attitudes and beliefs about money through our upbringing, experiences and education.

“It’s not how much or little you have, it’s your relationship to it which counts.”

– Joanna Martin, One of Many

I come from a family of savers who buy the cheapest option, while my husband comes from a family of spenders who buy what they consider the best. Neither approach is necessarily right or wrong; they are simply different.

By becoming more aware of your attitudes towards money, you may be able to examine and reshape some of your financial habits. What beliefs about money have you carried into adulthood? Are they helping you make the decisions you want to make?

Vocation

Since starting to build my coaching business, I feel I have found my vocation, also described as a passion or calling. All my experience to date, my strengths and my story have brought me to this point – the ups and the downs.

When I coach, I feel that I am operating in what I call my “zone of genius”: work that draws on my strengths and feels fulfilling. Meaningful work can provide a sense of purpose and significance.

What brings you alive and gives you energy? How can you take steps towards building a life that involves more of what you love?

Network

Supportive relationships can help us navigate challenges and feel less isolated. Who is in your network, and where do you feel supported?

Your network can be made up of various elements, including practical help, advice, mentors, accountability, emotional support, spiritual input and friendship. How strong is your network looking? Is it providing the support you need? Where are the gaps?

It can be difficult to ask for help. Often, it’s easier to give than to receive. What can you do to strengthen your network?

Take time to reflect on each of the pillars and consider where you would like to be more intentional. If you would find additional support helpful, a coach can help you gain clarity, explore different perspectives and create a manageable plan for change.