4 ways to reconnect with yourself when you feel lost

“Being your true self is the most effective formula for success there is” - Danielle LaPorte.

Following your dreams means committing to being the person you need to be to achieve them; we may already have strengths and resources that can help us achieve our goals, even if we don't always recognise them.

From a very early age we begin to discover how we might need to behave, to be praised and recognised, or to be noticed in our environment; the characteristics and behaviours that will ensure we feel accepted, liked, or loved.

As we move through education and into work, we identify how we might need to present ourselves to be hired, be successful, stand out, or to blend in.

Some aspects of who we decide we need to be align with the natural strengths, traits, and characteristics we have, but some require us to adapt ourselves, and to alter our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.

Over time we may become so accustomed to these adapted thoughts, feelings and behaviours that we lose touch with some of our personal preferences, values and interests.

Once we begin to show up as this version of ourselves on a regular basis, we become so used to it that it can be difficult to remember what feels most authentic to us.

Until maybe one day we say to ourselves, ‘where did I go’? Or even, ‘who is my true self’? For some, they have been adapting to others' expectations for so long that they may feel disconnected from the person they used to be.

If this resonates with you, it may be time to consider what changes you want to make. Finding your true self does not mean you need to let go of every part of your adapted self; some of these characteristics are great and useful to have.

It’s about letting go of the traits and characteristics that are not the ones you truly want to have and allowing your true self to shine through.

It’s about deciding which characteristics of your true self will help you to be, do, and have more of what you want in your life.

Here are four tips you can use to begin reconnecting with yourself:

Journaling

Find a quiet space if you can and set aside 15–20 minutes. At the top of your page, write the question you want to ask your inner self to explore what feels most authentic to you. Write down everything that surfaces and see what bubbles up. Go back to the page the next day and reflect on what you have written. How many of them make your heart light up, which ones are you excited to resurface, and which are going to help you as you follow your dreams?

Change unhelpful beliefs

Identify the traits, characteristics, and behaviours that you would like to let go. What are your beliefs around these? What would need to happen for you to let go of these beliefs, and begin replacing them with beliefs that better support you?

Identify ways you can more frequently do the things that help you feel like yourself

Identify the activities you do that make you feel most like your true self; where a glimmer of that identity shines through. Find ways to include these activities into more of your life, so that you can amplify them as much as possible.

Surround yourself with those who accept and love who you are as your true self

Spend more time with those who enable you to feel comfortable being your true self and where possible, consider how you can be more yourself in relationships where you feel the need to adapt. The more we utilise the traits and characteristics that feel authentic to us, the more they may become part of your identity again.

Reconnecting with yourself isn’t an overnight fix, but it’s a very worthwhile path to follow.