What if your imposter "syndrome" was the imposter, not you?

People I work with often bring their imposter into a coaching session (maybe I should start charging the imposter as it's getting free coaching). It’s no surprise it's such a frequent visitor. It’s claimed that 70% of us will experience the Imposter at some point in our lives (Sakulku & Alexander, 2011).

So, there’s a good chance you might have come across your own imposter too. It may have surfaced when you started a new role, job or were given a new responsibility. Perhaps it revealed itself with words and feelings like these:

• ”They’ll find out I’m not as good as they think I am.”
• ”Why should anyone listen to me? What do I know?”
• ”I’m only here because I worked my socks off. Nothing to do with my ability.”
• "I’m only here because I was in the right place at the right time.”
• ”Praise and compliments? They’re just saying that to be nice.”

You put your success down to luck or disproportionate effort. You believe others have an inflated perception of your abilities. You’re terrified your real ability will be found out. You’re a fraud who doesn’t deserve success or recognition. 

It puts the handbrake on your career. It stops you from speaking up in meetings or putting yourself forward for new opportunities. You procrastinate, you avoid, you become a perfectionist who over-prepares. Unless you do something about it, it may lead to high levels of stress, anxiety, depression and burnout. 

But here’s the good news. The imposter is… just an imposter. 

You probably know it as imposter syndrome, but this label isn’t helpful or accurate. It’s not a clinical condition as its name suggests. It was originally called The Imposter Phenomenon by Drs Clancy and Imes in a research paper published in 1978 at the height of the feminist movement. The authors were teaching at a prestigious college known for its academic excellence. They observed a pattern of thinking amongst the female students. They were successful by external standards but held the belief of personal incompetence. (Since then, studies have shown the phenomenon is also prevalent amongst male high achievers.) Over time, the phenomenon became a syndrome, giving underserved power and status to the voice in your head saying you’re a fraud. 

“OK”, I hear you ask. “What can I do about the imposter?”

Let’s explore a few ideas:

• You can start by reminding your imposter it’s not a syndrome. Think of it simply as a feeling or experience.
• Separate the feeling from the person: imposterism is the feeling. You are not the imposter. Big difference.
• See the gift in the difficult feeling. You experience "who am I to...?" when you're on the cusp of change and breakthrough. Hang on in there. Change is uncomfortable. But growth is on the other side of the discomfort.
• Embrace a growth mindset. Mistakes are ok as long as you learn from them. Not making mistakes probably means you're playing it too safe.
• Accept where you're at now, versus holding yourself to unrealistic and unsustainable standards.
• Kill comparison. Define your version of good and focus on working towards that. Just because you believe others are better than you, better doesn’t necessarily mean good!
• Build positive emotions by identifying and accepting your strengths. Don't ignore or discount them. They’ve got you to a good place thus far. Be realistic about weaknesses too.
• Monitor your self-talk. Make sure it's kind, not harsh. If you don’t treat yourself with respect and compassion, why should anyone else?

It’s worth remembering that when you experience the imposter, it’s not because you’re special, sorry to say. The majority of the people around you will have similar thoughts and feelings about themselves. We’re all in it together. So we can help each other by normalising the idea that fear comes with change and success.

We can role model vulnerability. We can acknowledge the efforts of others that have contributed to their success. We can make the imposter realise that it’s the fraud, not us. It's not part of our identity. It's simply a feeling we may experience on our growth journey.