Does your confidence level match your lifestyle goals?

Do any of these sound familiar?

  • Do you dress like someone who is ready to run a successful business?
  • Do you talk like someone who is ready to manage people at a senior level?
  • Do you believe in yourself?
  • Do you believe you are deserving of the love you pine after?
  • Do you act like someone who’s creating the kind of lifestyle that you desire?
  • When faced with opportunities that will get you to where you want to be, do you grab hold of them, or do you find yourself making excuses and letting them pass you by?

For instance, if you were to get a big promotion today, would your current level of self-confidence match that achievement? Or could it potentially sabotage your success – causing you to struggle with imposter syndrome, to doubt yourself, and mess things up?

If you bumped into your ideal man or woman today, would you be able to strike up a conversation and invite them out for coffee, or would your lack of confidence let them slip away?

What about if you are an entrepreneur, starting up your own business. If you were to receive an opportunity to pitch to a potential client in the next few days, would you feel confident enough to do so? Or would your lack of self-confidence cause you to doubt yourself, leaving you a nervous wreck in front of your potential client?

How can lack of confidence hold you back?

One thing I notice with my clients is that often their level of self-confidence does not match their desired lifestyle, goals and ambitions. They constantly let opportunities slip away, which could have helped them achieve their goals, simply because they don’t believe in themselves. Their lack of confidence keeps them small and hidden away from potential opportunities. This is exactly why they are struggling to achieve success in their lives.

Let’s imagine someone who takes a leap into entrepreneurship, but whose confidence does not match their business ambitions. That lack of confidence gets in the way of their good ideas and leads to entrepreneurial inactivity. Their lack of confidence shows in their videos, when they are networking, and makes it incredibly hard to pitch to potential clients.

I can tell you that you deserve all the good things you desire in life. But – because you just don’t know it yet, because you don’t believe it, your lack of self-confidence is getting in your way and holding you back

Someone whose confidence matches their aspirations is much more likely to start their own ventures, grab opportunities as and when they arise, sell to their market more easily, and enjoy the fruits of their labour.

Let’s take someone who wants to be successful at dating but doesn’t have the confidence to approach other singles. Their low self-confidence causes them social anxiety, which makes it difficult for them to connect with others in social settings. This person will struggle with dating, constantly questioning themselves, and feeling as though they are not good enough.

Someone who is comfortable being themselves has glowing confidence, irresistible charisma and a magnetic personality and will be more likely to succeed in their romantic lives.

Confidence is the degree to which you like yourself and are willing to challenge yourself. Your self-confidence is the positive image you have of yourself – the degree to which you believe, deep inside, that you are worthy and deserving of the good things you are about to bring into your life.

Work meeting

When you increase your confidence, you increase your belief in yourself. When you increase that self-belief, you are more able to take action and be open to the opportunities that present themselves to you, because you believe you are deserving of what you want.

I can tell you that you deserve all the good things you desire in life. But – because you just don’t know it yet, because you don’t believe it – your lack of self-confidence is getting in your way and holding you back. Your subconscious thoughts, actions and behaviours undermine your accomplishments and who you are.

Bestselling author Barrie Davenport states: “One of the main obstacles to financial success is low self-confidence. Low confidence makes us doubt our abilities and judgement, and prevents us from taking calculated risks, setting ambitious goals and acting on them. At work, people who suffer with this problem often engage in subconscious behaviours that undermine their success, making them less likely to ask for or get a promotion, raises and even jobs."

In order for you to achieve the lifestyle you want – to achieve those goals, get that promotion, be more successful in your business or romantic life – you need to work on growing your confidence to match your desires. It's important to work on your confidence until it aligns with what you want, making it easier for you to get it and keep it.

How to increase your confidence  

What can you do right now to increase your confidence, so that it matches the lifestyle you are trying to create for yourself?

  • Think about who you need to become in order to attract what you want: then work on becoming that person, one step at time. Look for examples from other people who are where you want to be and learn from their habits, behaviours and characteristics that help them achieve what it is you would like to achieve or attract.
  • Develop your skills: when you improve your skills, in whichever area of your life you want to improve in, this will help you to affirm your abilities. Once you affirm yourself, you’ll start to believe in yourself. Once you believe in yourself, you’ll be more likely to take action.
  • Acknowledge your strengths: list all your accomplishments, all the compliments you’ve received, and all the things you are good at. This will act as a constant reminder that you have talent, skills and something to offer.
  • Step out of your comfort zone: complete one task a day that takes you one small step outside of your comfort zone. This will quickly expand the area in which you feel confident.
  • Reprogram your subconscious mind: your subconscious mind is just like a hard drive. It is where all of your past information is stored, such as your thoughts, beliefs, memories, habits and behaviour patterns. The subconscious mind controls our automatic behaviours, actions and reactions.

If left unchecked, your subconscious mind will keep doing the same thing over and over again. You can reprogram your subconscious mind by listening to guided meditations, or through hypnosis, reading, and saying affirmations aloud repeatedly each day. These are all powerful tools, which can influence your mind for increased self-confidence.

The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Life Coach Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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London, Hackney, E9
Written by Ayesha Giselle Dornelly, Life Coach & Hypnotherapist
London, Hackney, E9

Life Coach Ayesha Giselle is a leading confidence and resilience building expert featured in Gazia and Happiful Magazine whose mission it is to help you to increase your confidence in your abilities to become the person you need to be to get the results you want. For more information about her coaching services and programs, please get in touch

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