Confidence boosters when meeting new people
Meeting new people can for a lot of us, bring up our insecurities and concerns about whether we are likable, confident enough, witty, talkative or attractive enough. These all run with the theme of questioning whether we are enough as we are.
Here are some ways to help you be confident and shine when you are meeting new people:
1. Breathe. It sounds simple, but bringing focus to our breath and having a longer "out than in" breath helps to calm and centre ourselves in the midst of feeling under pressure to perform. Taking a longer exhale has been proven to also calm the body in stressful situations.
2. Slow down and really listen. Often in life we can hear, but not really listen to what another person is saying. We can get caught up in our heads with our own insecurities. Next time you meet someone new, really listen to what they are saying as this helps us get out of our heads and insecurities and into the moment.
3. Be aware of inner self chat. We all have an inner critic that likes to make us feel bad in certain situations by flagging our failings. Become aware of what is being said internally and then when you are conscious of the messages, ask yourself "Is what my inner critic saying true? Is it really true?" Often we become fused to messages without questioning if they are true and this can hold us back.
4. Be curious. Be really curious about the person you are meeting, use it as an opportunity to find out about them and their way of seeing life. Taking the focus off ourselves and onto the person we are meeting enables us to step away from our issues and be fully present for the person we are speaking to.
5. Know that they are likely to feel awkward as well. Most human beings have insecurities. From coaching and working with clients, I realise that we all have self-doubt and lack confidence in various situations.
6. Posture: Stand straight. By standing straight and holding more of the space we are in, we send a message to every cell in our body that we are worth it and that we have something valuable to say.
7. Give eye contact. Hard as it can be when we are feeling unconfident, giving eye contact is a great way to hold your own ground and look confident.
8. Speak from the chest not the throat. Practise speaking from the chest, or if easier to focus on, practise speaking from the heart and really have your voice coming from this part of your body. It means your voice sounds less throaty and more solid and thus has more gravitas in conversations.
9. Speak slowly and don’t be afraid of pauses. Use your breath for pauses. This again is a way confident people appear more confident, using pauses and slowing down speech gives a sense of calm and confidence.
Meeting new people can be something we avoid so that we don’t feel anxious and unconfident in ourselves. A life coach can work with you to overcome the anxiety and worries and feel confident in yourself. Practising these tips will help you step into who you want to be.
I would love to hear how you get on.