Kate O'Connell

Kate O'Connell


07762 571057

About me

Therapeutic Life Coaching is ideal if you are interested in personal development, change and growth. It is a powerful means of helping you build confidence and make changes at a deep level which are sustainable. Despite our best intentions to change and develop, it is only too easy to revert to old habitual patterns. By identifying these and making them conscious you have more choice and can use this awareness for realising new possibilities.

I offer a safe and confidential space for exploring your needs and making sense of thoughts, feelings and patterns of behaviour. My approach is supportive, creative and tailored to your particular needs. I draw on a blend of psychological theories and a variety of techniques that are designed to maximise emotional resilience and well-being and help you move from where you are now, to where you would like to be.

It is my experience both personally and professionally that profound psychological change can happen at the physical level. Connecting with feelings and sensations in the body can shine a light on limiting beliefs and untangle difficult emotions. This in turn can bring relief, insight and the awareness that underpins lasting change.


In our competitive society women, in particular, are assaulted on so many fronts by their supposed inadequacies. The self-help industry is based on the cultural assumption that we’re never good enough – we need to be younger, prettier, smarter, slimmer, richer, happier and healthier; we need to feel special and above average to feel worthy. If we need to see ourselves as perfect or better than others we risk the pendulum swing from over inflation to feelings of shame and inadequacy.

My work with women is often around letting go of who they think they’re supposed to be and unrealistic expectations of perfection; embracing who they are, allowing themselves to be vulnerable and acknowledging that imperfection is part of our shared human condition. Research shows that the nurturing quality of self-compassion allows us to flourish, achieve emotional well-being and helps us value ourselves in a deep way (as opposed to the common misconception that we are being self-indulgent) and provides the clarity to identify what it is we really want.


Much of our Western culture still has a strong ‘stiff upper lip’ tradition and particularly for men who are often conditioned from an early age to use their rational minds to regulate emotions, solve problems and to ignore any emotional discomfort. For men to recognise they might be suffering and to stop and give themselves care and comfort can take courage as acknowledging vulnerability is still seen as a weakness and goes against the social constructs of masculinity.


Having worked for many years as the Senior Consultant at the introduction agency Drawing Down the Moon, I have a real understanding of the terrain of romantic love in the 21st Century. I have worked with hundreds of men and women and have developed my own blend of insightful and practical support which can help shift the patterns of the past and identify and release limiting core beliefs or hidden barriers to finding the right partner.

Relationships have become fairly confusing for both men and women as gender roles are less well defined. Most women nowadays would like men to have some degree of sensitivity, to be in touch with their feelings and to know how to express them. However there can still be pressure from these very same women for their ‘men to be men’.

As women have become more financially independent and successful in the world, even men who have outwardly supported womens’ quest for a more even playing field, have found themselves feeling threatened by that.

These conflicting feelings and double messages within relationships can be complex and challenging.


Growing up in a theatrical household and working as an actress myself, I am only too aware of the challenges that choosing a creative path can engender. Self-belief can be easily eroded, identity can be confused and feelings of disempowerment can prevail.

I work with issues such as blocked creativity, performance anxiety and helping to foster sources of inner strength and implementing strategies for self-defeating patterns.

I have found that working with a process known as Voice Dialogue can be particularly beneficial to clients in the creative industries. Our psyches are made up of many parts – some parts we know about and others are hidden in the unconscious. Voice Dialogue is a method that can enable us to contact and work directly with these different ‘parts’ or ‘selves’ and allows us to hone in on a specific area of the psyche for exploration, understanding and healing. These ‘selves’, if they remain unconscious, can run our lives, control our behaviour and keep us from realising our full potential. For more information on Voice Dialogue see www.voicedialogueinternational.com.


Coaching is one of the most powerful methods for developing a manager’s capacity for leadership. If leadership is to be truly effective, managers must be authentic. I believe that for many managers to achieve significant, sustainable, and organisationally relevant change, coaching must encompass personal and psychological issues, as well as practical issues. Much of my work is around making sense of unconscious resistance to change, working with beliefs and emotions and translating awareness and insights into practical changes in behaviour.

I have a particular interest in empowering women in the workplace. The patriarchal system that dominates our culture has undergone major changes and although there is still much to be done, I believe the glass ceiling is not always just on the outside but can also be within us. Our unconscious belief systems can constrain us and thwart our potential.

Many women have relied on traditionally masculine strategies to succeed in the corporate world and I am interested in helping women find ways of accessing their own unique brands of feminine power including both their strength and sensitivity.

Training, qualifications & experience

I trained at LAMDA from 1982-5, won the comedy prize and worked professionally as an actress in theatre, television and film for 10 years.

Although I loved the creative process, telling stories and inhabiting weird and wonderful characters, I became increasingly more drawn to the inner workings and complexity of the psyche.

I embarked on a psychoanalytic psychotherapy training at the Institute of Psychotherapy and Social Studies from 1992-5. At the same time I started working as the senior consultant at Drawing Down the Moon, an introduction agency for business, professional and creative people. I then went on to complete an Executive Coaching Certificate from Henley Business School and a Facilitator Training in Voice Dialogue.

My background in a creative industry along with my psychotherapy training, and my work helping people explore relationships has informed my particular blend of therapeutic coaching.

I feel passionately about self-compassion and helping people cultivate kinder, healthier ways of relating to themselves and others.

I have been working with individuals in a therapeutic and coaching capacity since 1995.

Other areas of coaching I deal with

Date Coaching/Desire for relationship
Empowering Women in the workplace


Initial free 30 minute phone consultation.

Fees will vary depending on frequency of sessions and income.

Further information


‘I had always relied on my intellect to get me through, to make sense of my life experiences and to solve everything in my head. Through coaching with Kate I felt safe enough for the first time to really notice what was going on in my body and how I was actually feeling underneath my thoughts. It feels like I’m finally waking up, not getting so caught up in my negative thinking and being much kinder and gentler to myself in the process.’
Martha, Lawyer

‘Before coaching I had real issues asserting myself. I hadn’t realised that expressing this side made me feel like a bully so I avoided it which had a negative impact on my personal and professional relationships. I now have a real understanding of where that comes from and now feel confident enough to express my opinions without fear of being hated. Coaching with Kate has been one of the most life-changing experiences and I can’t thank her enough.’
Andrew G, MBA student

‘It has been lovely to meet you and I think I can be frank with you to let you know what a relief it was to meet you last June and hear the words you spoke. You immediately ‘got’ my situation in a way that very few people are able and I felt an affinity with you that allowed me to share the true grit of what was going on in my personal life… your input into my life at this particular stage, has been pivotal.’
Louisa C, Advertising Director

‘Thank you again for all your support on this ‘dating journey’. I really appreciate your wisdom, candour and sense of humour. It’s made my foray into this realm a really happy one.’
JB, Creative Entrepreneur/Fundraiser

‘I came to see Kate because she had been highly recommended – at the time I felt completely stuck and at the mercy of a very harsh, judgmental side of myself which was sabotaging my career. Through Voice Dialogue I worked with my Inner Critic and now have a real insight into what was really going on during these ‘critic’ attacks. They still happen now if I’m particularly stressed but the way I relate to them is completely different and I don’t feel at their mercy in the way I used to. I feel much less constrained creatively so thank you Kate!’
Jess, Actor/Writer

London, N4

Type of session

Online life coaching: No
Telephone life coaching: Yes
Face to face life coaching: Yes

Practical details

Sign language: Unspecified
Other languages: None


Wheelchair access: Unspecified

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