Finding forgiveness in neglect

As we are born into this world, there are two important emotions that we respond to that alter our outcomes. Those emotions are love and fear. Naturally, through human connection and the beauty of our inner light, we love unconditionally yet we are taught by many experiences to fear.

From a baby growing into our youth, we are dependent on our parents as we crave to be loved, we crave attention, we crave to be heard and we crave to be seen by the people that are our world, as their version of love is all we really know. Yet these unfulfilled cravings lead us to feel empty, feeling neglected, unloved, unwanted, and not good enough and create a domino effect of blockages - trapped emotions forming inside of us leading to all kinds of outcomes that don’t serve us as we grow older.

Instead of choosing or learning how to face these obstacles in a healthier way, the pain from our neglectful experiences builds up over the years through our thoughts, beliefs, emotions and actions, deepening the root cause. We then tend to create self-neglect within our inner being.

Personally, I have never suffered from neglect, but I have faced bullying at school and rejection in countless experiences from childhood through to adulthood, building bitter feelings about myself within me.

Not many of those that have experienced neglect are strong enough to face blockages of their wounds. Many choose to blanket it up with all forms of external use, thinking external use would fix something so deeply internal. Our inner solution to neglect in which most of us lack, is the work to be done on our “self-focus!”

Self-focus starts off with forgiveness

As a kid, we can’t control the negligent actions of a parent and why they are the way they are. To feel neglected and unloved from so young is daunting as it’s an overflow of indescribable emotions impacting the soul all at once.

It’s only as we grow older and we become more mature in our views of the world that we can understand the neglect experiences we’ve had with our parents and understand it from their view, their trauma, their beliefs, thoughts, experiences that led to their actions is what’s key. Our love for ourselves is how we choose to respond to our neglect experiences that have shaped us and how we choose to grow and become from it.

The more we long to talk things over, try to fix or crave a relationship with an absent parent the more we make ourselves suffer. So, to begin healing these neglected wounds and blockages is by choosing to forgive. Forgiving is so rewarding as it releases the heavy burden of resentment. Letting things go and letting things be, feeling lighter with things slowly falling into place in the process of your forgiveness.

Forgiving is not always easy as our egos stir up the pain of our wounds, and we need to remember when we forgive it’s not about how they neglected you and mistreated you, it’s about allowing what they did to affect how you live your life now. You can choose to accept or reject the way you are treated but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed.

Forgiveness is giving up the hope that your past could have been any different and accepting the reality of what did happen and moving on. In the transformation of forgiveness, you need to come to the realization that what might have been is not what is.

You need to teach yourself to make peace with your past that is holding you back. Be brave in revisiting the core pain of your past, work through it allowing the pain and your emotions to flow through you. Learning and understanding the experiences and then letting them go. Stepping out of your past pain and into the possibility of your present.

To forgive is accepting the relationship and your experiences between you and your family from childhood through to adulthood. Forgive them and forgive yourself. Use today to begin healing and give up the hope that the past could have been anything other than what it actually was.

The experience of neglect helped to make you, you. Now your journey is to find the courage to relinquish all your grudges as on the other side of forgiveness is freedom. Freedom to live the life you were intended to and so deserve.

Have you experienced any forms of neglect and want to chat, want to enquire more about how coaching will assist you? Drop me a message via my profile to find out more.