Break-up: Break-down or break-through?
So, your latest love relationship has broken down, you are left on your own and you feel like there is a big gap in your life now. Everything seems a disappointment and it feels ever so hard to move on. You might feel angry, resentful, or sad. You know at a logical level that it’s not you - it is not your fault - but sometimes, somewhere deep down inside you are beginning to wonder, why it this happening to you? You feel stuck and want to get out of this situation.
Relationship Break Ups are one of the most difficult periods in our adult life.
They can leave us feeling unwanted, unloved and feeling as though we are a failure.
This can be a time of great uncertainty and overwhelming change. Amongst the issues that you might be dealing with right now could include: loss, loneliness, fear, resentment, guilt, judgement and blame. You might be feeling overwhelmed, unable to cope, depressed, unmotivated, or drained by your current situation, not in control of your emotions and your life.
When your life is in turmoil you will naturally feel confused for a while, but then you can choose to move on.
Once you decide that you have had enough of heartache and misery and you are just fed up with the situation in your life, then you are ready and able to move forward.
Could it be you might not yet feel ready to move on? Then ask yourself what you have to gain from holding on - and be totally honest with yourself. Then ask what you could gain instead from letting go of the past. Carefully weigh up your answers - all the pros and cons. Could it be that the future looks brighter and full of possibilities?
Moving on and letting go require patience and support. Within the right setting you can achieve closure by a process of releasing your past emotional attachments and letting go.
Forgiveness is essential, especially forgiving yourself and anyone else involved in the break-up. By holding on to anger and resentment you are only ultimately hurting yourself.
Once you make the decision to put down the emotional baggage you have been carrying around from the past relationship, you give yourself permission to move on and create a new rewarding and fulfilling life for yourself. A new phase of your life begins now. You can re-model your life, your family, your relationship with the world.
Here is your chance to not just move on, but move on up - be more, do more, have more. More what? You decide! You are in charge of your own life.
It may not seem like it right now, but you have the power and the potential to re-create your ideal life, the kind of life you know you deserve. You just haven’t been using and focussing that power in the most effective way possible - yet!
What you decide to do next will have an impact on what happens to you for the rest of your life. Make yourself your number one priority. Remember what they tell you on every flight?
“Put your own oxygen mask on first before you can help others”.
Choose closure and break-through now.
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Caroline Wellingham - Accredited Career and Life Coach, NLP PractitionerJuly 12th, 2017