The “whole” self

It is highly unlikely that when taking a boat out to sea that we would throw the anchor over the side and allow it to drag across the seabed thereby impeding our progress or tightly tie our hands together whilst attempting to swim.

We would all state that we have the magical “common sense” and would rightly see both ideas as extremely foolish suggestions that we would never contemplate. Therefore, it is even more perplexing when as a life coach, clients present themselves as someone who wants to lose weight or gain confidence or stop feelings of anxiety. There is a perception that the single problem or issue is the barrier to success or the cause of the perceived inability to maximise their potential.

An integral part of coaching is to view the “whole self” and the interaction of different facets of a person that contribute to the barriers and the feeling of being “stuck.” What seems a relatively uncomplicated desire such as losing weight may well be hiding issues such as low self-esteem, an outdated coping mechanism, the means by which a person comforts his/herself etc.

Open and honest dialogue through the development of rapport built on trust is very important to get beyond those surface issues. Consequently as well as exploring and agreeing goals with an individual it is critical for lasting success and the integration of the changes, that the trust facilitates a working relationship which can address the emotional drivers that maintain the issues or barriers that the individual seeks to address. Then an individual, can unhindered succeed in their chosen endeavor.  

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