How to manage addictive behaviour to improve your life

Addictions are chaos in the soul.


They are habits we pick up throughout life to fill a void or to fit in with our peers. We can be addicted to a number of negative things - alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, food, and even love.

Love addiction is called co-dependency and it's actually not about love at all, it is about the fear of not being loved, and is about compulsive behaviour and thoughts, reactivity, and lack of control when it comes to emotions.

Addiction is simply an action or behaviour we have repeated over and over again until it becomes a habit woven into our existence, almost second nature, and can have a negative impact on our relationships and lifestyle. They are done on autopilot. 

Stealing our time, energy, and effort away and causing unnecessary friction and wasted hours in so many areas of life and, if we have children, they learn from copying us more than what they are told to do.

Not all addictions are bad - we are addicted to how we take a shower and how we clean our teeth. Yet if we consciously change the way we do these habits,  it will feel strange. Perhaps next time you shower, be conscious of the order and try it a different way - I promise you it'll feel awkward!

Our 'bad' habits are adopted as a comfort blanket while growing up as a means to boost self-esteem and confidence, as I mentioned before.

Addictions can actually stop successfully when we realise they no longer serve our greater good. It is at this point that we make a mindful conscious choice of not another minute, not another hour, not another day, and when we do this, we plan how we are going to redirect the mind when it draws you back to the familiar actions.

Dropping addictions will open people up with feelings and thoughts that are painful to face rise to the surface, and this is why our mind tries to draw us back to the familiar old patterns.

Many times our attempts to stop the negative habit fail because we don't want to come face to face with ourselves.

When you are totally ready there will be no resistance - you will be done... no pushing, no forcing, and no failed 'New Year resolution'.  Instead, it will be a shifted mindset a choice that is made with awareness.

Often, there will be plenty of opportunities to slip back into the negative habit, coupled with some intense, strong emotions which with awareness can serve as a  reminder that you promise to honour and respect yourself, and your body and to change your external world.

Life is an amazing experience when we go with the flow, let go of what no longer serves us, and dance to the heartbeat of the universe. 

This is where you will make better choices. To drink some water, go for a run, anything that distracts you from the drawback. The important thing to note here is that you need to face the intense feelings and emotions, and as you build this new muscle, new neural pathways will be built, and it will become easier and easier to redirect the intensity and shift your mind naturally away from it, where one day it just won't be bothersome any more. 

There are such great benefits to releasing negative binds from bad habits.  It creates a void in your life for something better and healthier to manifest. At first, you will find you may need to face up to some pretty dark shadows and do some proper inner work.  In all honesty, that is the hardest part which causes discomfort, facing emotions that have been stuffed down for years and kept hidden behind the smoky veil of the addiction.

Letting go completely and making peace with your past is the only way forward, accepting and allowing things to be as they are with dignity and grace makes it much easier to detach from old worn out stories that hold you back from creating the life you desire - with authentic relationships and connections. 

Some people really want to stop and just cannot go it alone, I truly think that the support of 12-step programmes gives the direction and connection to leverage some people into letting go and becoming their best selves - free.

Total freedom is to become whole, complete, and overflowing with authentic happiness without negative addictions.

Life is an amazing experience when we go with the flow, let go of what no longer serves us, and dance to the heartbeat of the universe. 

To find out more about 12-step programmes, reach out to me

Love always. 

The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Life Coach Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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Gillingham, Kent, ME8
Written by Melanie Smith, Experienced Relationship Coach | NLP Master Practitioner
Gillingham, Kent, ME8

Melanie is a Relationship coach who has studied human behaviour and enjoys writing about experiences and subjects that she has gone through or learned from. Her passions are writing and teaching people how to be their best selves. Her deepest desire is to ensure that every couple creates magical and fulfilling, harmonious lives together.

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