5 ways to build self-esteem and feel good about yourself

When I first started out on social media, the fear of judgment and ridicule was strong. However, these fears were not really about social media, they were stemming from deeper feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.

I wanted to do a good job but was getting lost in a compulsive desire to be validated by complete strangers on social media. The truth was I could have gotten a million followers, but it wouldn’t have changed how I felt about myself deep down.

So I leaned into the challenging journey of personal growth and healing, and the more work I did to address my perceived inadequacies, the easier it became to show up authentically in my life.

When I came to social media already feeling good about myself — instead of feeling needy and looking for praise and validation — it felt like a playful place instead of a threatening one.

Five ways to build self-esteem

If you’re experiencing feelings of inadequacy, here are five ways to break free of this kind of thinking and build an anti-fragile self-esteem.

1. Don’t look to be validated by other people’s opinions of you

What really matters is how you feel about yourself when you are by yourself. Beware social media in particular, because binding your sense of self-worth to the number of likes and followers you get will just put you in a vulnerable position.

2. Do hard things

If you want to have self-worth, do things that you think are worthy that uplift you and other people. It should be related to something that you love and is challenging. Learn to enjoy the process, even when it’s tough. If it’s too easy, you won’t feel a sense of real accomplishment. If it's too hard, you might give up. Find the sweet spot for you, and reward yourself when you hit key milestones along the way.

3. Know you have inherent value

There is only one of you on the entire planet! You are a completely unique and amazing human being with inherent value and breathtaking potential. Your potential and freedom are being smothered by the misplaced assumption that external conditions (money, promotion, things, relationships etc.) have to be met for you to feel good about yourself.

4. Do the work

If you want to feel and think differently, start doing different things. Invest in yourself through growth practices like regular journaling, meditation, therapy or coaching. The journey will not always be easy, but it is the most important thing you will ever do for yourself.

5. Don’t take sh*t personally!

If someone is mean towards you — and you haven’t provoked them — know that this is simply a report from them to you on their current state of mind. Instead of giving your power away and allowing them to make you feel like a victim, have compassion for their suffering because people full of hate and negativity are not living a happy life.

If you’d like to explore how coaching can help you dissolve feelings of inadequacy that are smothering your true potential, get in touch for a free 30-minute discovery call with me.