Let's get off the battlefield with our negative voices

Are you exhausted from spending time and energy entangled in a battle against your negative thoughts? You may think that you have to fight against them in order to overcome them, right? But, what if I told you there was another way?


What if there was another way to navigate and tame these negative thoughts and voices

...without going into battle 
...without having to constantly fight and argue against them 
...without having to spend a lot of emotional and mental energy leaving you feeling drained? 

That’s what we’ll explore in this article.

What are you currently doing?  

We've all been there, attempting various strategies to combat the onslaught of negativity. It may show up for you in different ways...


Engaging in internal arguments, trying to convince ourselves why we shouldn't feel a certain way. This may sound like ‘No, I shouldn’t be feeling like this because X Y Z’

Evidence seeking:

Scouring for reasons to prove our negative thoughts wrong. This may sound like ‘No, these are all many the reasons why you’re wrong….’


Feeling frustrated and exasperated with ourselves for not being able to silence those critical voices. This may sound like ‘No, you are so frustrating, why don’t you just go away?’

Silent treatment:

Ignoring the negative thoughts, and trying to sweep them under the rug. This may sound like ‘No, I’m just going to ignore you and pretend you’re not there’.

Does any of this resonate with you? If these methods are working for you, then that’s great. And if they are not working for you, and leave you feeling exhausted and depleted, it may be time to consider another approach.

Another way

Here is a different approach that we can use to navigate our negative thoughts and self-critic voices, without having to fight on the battlefield, but instead utilising acceptance, self-compassion and focusing on positive action and behaviour instead of thoughts.

Step 1: Acceptance

Recognise that negative thoughts are a natural part of the human experience. They serve as signals, indicating that something significant is happening.

Step 2: Understanding

By understanding and acknowledging the evolutionary purpose of these thoughts–to keep us safe, alert, and out of danger – we can recognise that they are a natural and expected part of our human experience, and in doing so alleviate the additional burden of escalating feelings, such as guilt and frustration, that often accompany the original thoughts and feelings.

Step 3: Self-compassion

Research underscores the profound impact that treating ourselves with kindness and self-compassion can have on our wellbeing. Be as compassionate with yourself as you would to your best friend, giving yourself kindness and grace to be able to process your emotions and thoughts without pressure or judgment.

Step 4: Action-oriented mindset

Rather than letting negative thoughts dictate our actions, focus on what behaviours align with your values. What actions can you take to move closer to what truly matters to you? Refocus and shine your attention on these actions to keep you moving forward in a positive way. 

I invite you to play with this alternative approach, with openness and curiosity, and see how it works for you. You might find that some pressure and weight is released, allowing you to reclaim energy for your positive actions and not being drained in a constant argument with yourself.

If this struggle feels all too familiar, know that you're not alone. This is a journey I frequently embark on with my clients, guiding them toward a more compassionate and harmonious relationship with themselves. 

Are you ready to break free from the cycle of self-criticism and embrace a more empowering mindset? Feel free to contact me, and we can discuss how I may be able to support you.

The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Life Coach Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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Bristol, City of Bristol, BS7
Written by Clare Sutton, ACC ICF Life Coach / Confidence / Fulfilment / Purpose
Bristol, City of Bristol, BS7

Clare Sutton is a fully accredited Professional Life Coach (ACC ICF) supporting people to feel confident and empowered to create their most fulfilling lives, in whatever way that means for them. Her ethical and evidence-based practice offers her clients truly transformational coaching experiences.

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