4 reasons you might feel you have no direction in your 30s

Do you feel confused and overwhelmed with your choice of career and life direction? Or conflicted, distracted, and not feeling deeply committed to the way your life is headed? If so, this article will tell you some of the reasons why that happens, and how to overcome it.

When you left school or proudly graduated from university, you thought that in, 10 years, you would be advanced in your career, happy, and focused. However, when the three graduated to being the first number in your age, you found yourself feeling like you had lost your direction in life.

You are not passionate about what you used to do, your work has become eight hours of emptiness per day, and you feel lost and lacking a goal. If that is indeed in any way how you feel, please do not worry, because you share this feeling with many, many other people, and (having felt it myself) I’m here to help.

Most people who have reached the age of 30 are still not sure where their lives are going or what the best solution for them would be, to be truly happy in 10 years. Today I am going to share with you the most common reasons people feel lost, in order to help you overcome these problems and work towards creating a fulfilling life of your dreams.

1. Life is passing by

The days are similar to each other. Before you know it, it's Friday again and unhappy Monday peeks around the corner. Everything revolves around work, family, bills, and so on. If your daily routine is overwhelming you, it is very likely that you have not devoted enough time to your passions in the last 10 years. When you are bored, you feel lost because you don't have enough things in your life that excite you.

To change that, make sure you diversify your life and spend at least two hours each week on a hobby that doesn't include watching Netflix. Think about what you've always wanted to try and make time for! Believe me, by putting more excitement into your life, you will start to feel much better.

Life is not about repeating the same routine every day, so make space for important stimulation - the world won't collapse if you do.

2. You float through life

You feel like you've been floating through your life for the last 10 years without thinking about which way you’re going - you are passive. Now you feel lost, you lack a goal and, without a goal, you feel like you have zero motivation to achieve anything in your career or life.

Although you cannot predict the future, you are able to set goals in life to give yourself greater direction. Take a look at your dreams and what has been blocking you from releasing them so far. Admitting that you have floated through life can be extremely difficult but, the sooner you act, you will discover that your life is much more satisfying.

3. You have false expectations

Preschool, primary school, high school, university, first full-time job, bills, car, house, hobbies. The relatively rigid direction of the traditional map of life makes it seem like you’d better have it all figured out and quickly. You’d better know what to study before your 20s, know what your career should be before finishing study, and if you change your mind, well you have lots of responsibilities now, tough luck.

Moreover, we might look around, and it can seem like others did manage to make the right decisions along the way, while you might feel uncertain about yours. Just know that you don’t see how these people feel inside. It’s likely that they are just making the best of it, like you.

In truth, we become a different person every five years. It is not realistic that you would hold exactly the same beliefs as you did, and might make different decisions should you have to make them now. That’s alright. Don’t feel like you must continue or all progress will be lost. Don’t despair at the thought of starting again. It’s an opportunity to adjust your life to who you are now, and that is worth it.

4. Setting unrealistic goals

The saying, “we plan, god laughs” unfortunately does exist for a reason. We must plan, but often those plans don’t get on well with an ever-changing reality. It can feel like you lost your way based on the fact that you haven’t achieved the goals you set out for yourself, if you were really set on those goals. We have to acknowledge our limited control if we want to be happy, otherwise, we’ll spend our time gripping tightly onto things which are outside of our reach. 

That is why it is crucial that you set yourself goals which are realistic - which you know can change if needed. Goals which, if you achieve them, will make you happy, and if you don’t, will not make you feel like your life is ruined. One way to do this, if you do have goals with serious consequences and a lot of investment, is to work on loving the process more than the outcome. Then, you’re guaranteed to have lots of fun along the way, but you’re not overly attached to the result itself.

So, there you have it. You’ve just read about four of the most common reasons you might feel like you don’t have a life direction. The underlying message through all of these reasons is that if you feel lost, try to connect with your values and goals. It’s never too late to start changing your habits and you yourself will change as a result. You have a wonderful life in front of you! 

In this video, life coach Emma Wilson talks to Happiful about milestone birthdays, societal pressure and how to reframe these in a positive way that works for who you are and where you want to go.