Ben Davies

I coach overwhelmed self-employed men who feel stuck in a life dominated by work to take back control and feel excited.

You may be doing reasonably well on paper. You are capable, responsible, earning money and used to sorting things out yourself. But work takes up too much headspace, you find it difficult to switch off, and important parts of life keep being pushed aside.

You might recognise some of this:

• You are constantly busy but rarely feel properly on top of things.
• Work follows you into evenings, weekends and time with people you care about.
• You have lost energy, confidence or a sense of direction.
• Your health, relationships and friendships receive whatever time and energy is left over.
• You feel isolated, carrying the responsibility of your business and personal life with little support.
• You know what needs to change, but struggle to act on it consistently.
• Life is not falling apart, but it does not feel as good as you expected it to.

Life coaching for the man behind the business

Your business may be where the pressure is most visible, but this is not business consultancy. We will work on the wider life: your health, relationships, friendships, confidence, identity, habits, boundaries and the kind of life you want to build.

I will not tell you how to run your company. I will help you see where your current way of working is costing you, understand what is driving it, and decide what needs to change.

That might include a realistic 90-day plan for your business. It might also mean looking at why you overwork, avoid difficult conversations, neglect your own needs or find it hard to ask for support.

The aim is to build a life that works better as a whole. Greater clarity and better business decisions often follow.

How coaching can help

Together, we may work on:

• Deciding what matters now, and what no longer serves you.
• Creating direction when you feel stuck or uncertain.
• Reducing overwhelm and constant firefighting.
• Building healthier boundaries around work.
• Improving relationships and friendships.
• Rebuilding confidence, energy and motivation.
• Understanding patterns that repeatedly pull you off course.
• Making difficult decisions and having difficult conversations.
• Turning good intentions into practical, sustainable action.

My coaching is practical. You will leave sessions with clear decisions and actions, and we will return to what happened rather than simply having another interesting conversation the following week.

But practical does not mean superficial. We will also make room for the fears, beliefs, emotions and patterns underneath what is happening.

When you have been under pressure for a long time, your mind and body can get used to running on stress. That is why simply knowing what to do is often not enough: you may make a plan, feel motivated for a few days, then get pulled back into overworking, firefighting or avoidance. We look at those patterns so changes can actually hold.

About me

I am a South African-born men’s coach living in Devon with my wife and our dog, Malu.

Before becoming a coach, I studied Human Kinetics and Ergonomics and Anthropology. I then worked for myself in high schools and universities as a teacher and sports coach, before training in professional coaching, cognitive behavioural coaching, solution-focused coaching and financial coaching.

My life has not followed a particularly conventional route. I have lived and worked in the US, South America, Europe and Southern Africa. I am comfortable being a square peg in a round hole — though friendship has made that far easier.

I have worked for myself and run my own business for more than 10 years. I understand the freedom, responsibility, uncertainty and isolation that can come with it, and how easily a business can begin to occupy more of your life than intended.

Much of my work focuses on men because many of us have few places where we can speak honestly. We often deal with problems privately, keep functioning, and wait until things become impossible to ignore.

I am direct, curious and non-judgemental. I will listen properly, challenge you when useful and tell you honestly what I notice. I am not here to tell you what a successful man or a good life should look like. The work is about helping you decide that for yourself, then act accordingly.

My experience and approach

I have completed more than 1,000 hours of coaching with over 100 clients. My approach draws upon cognitive behavioural and solution-focused coaching, practical planning, Internal Family Systems-informed practice, nervous-system awareness, financial coaching and my own experience of running a small business.

I also run workshops and group coaching for self-employed men and business owners. If I believe one of those options would suit you better than 1-to-1 coaching, I will say so.

Enquire

If you are carrying too much, feeling stuck, or questioning whether your current way of living is sustainable, send me an enquiry.

Tell me briefly what is taking up most of your capacity and what you would like to be different. I will respond personally and tell you honestly whether I think I can help.

Group Coaching Programs, workshops, events and retreats are also abvailabe. Please enquire!

I encourage 'try it before you buy it'.

We'll have a once off, no strings attached discovery call for 30 minutes for free. We'll see if we have something to work from and go from there. If I can't help you I will certainly point you in the direction of someone who will. 

Telegraph article