Are you happy?
This should be a simple question, with a simple answer. But for many of us, the answer is complicated. Knowing what happiness really is can be the first stumbling block. Often, we correlate happiness with joy and, while joy is a part of happiness, it doesn’t tell the full story.
Joy can be a fleeting feeling. Something we experience in the moment, whether we’re celebrating our child’s birthday party, watching a stunning sunset or toasting to a promotion at work. Happiness can also involve a longer-term sense of contentment and wellbeing. It’s an ongoing sense of contentment that arises when we feel fulfilled, are working with our strengths, and are living in alignment with our values.
In this video, happiness coach Gordon McCrorie explores what happiness truly is and how a coach can support you.
Some describe happiness as the absence of stress and anxiety. All of us will experience low points in our lives where we have to navigate difficult emotions – this is part of the human experience. Being ‘happy’ doesn’t necessarily mean everything is great 100% of the time.
Happiness doesn't necessarily mean feeling positive all the time. We can experience difficult or stressful periods while still having a broader sense of contentment with our lives. But what happens if you're struggling to understand what happiness means to you, or you're unsure what could help you feel more fulfilled?
You have options here. You could venture down the self-help route, exploring books, courses and podcasts to increase self-awareness and identify what happiness means to you. Or you could consider working with a professional, like a happiness coach.
What is happiness coaching?
The ultimate aim of happiness coaching is to help you identify what makes you happy and support you in your journey. We are all brilliantly unique, which means different things make us happy. Through structured conversations and exercises, happiness coaching helps you delve into your strengths and values. Knowing these can help you understand how you can lean into your strengths and what changes you may need to make to live more in alignment with your values. This could mean taking up a hobby or passion project, reviewing your relationships or even changing careers.
Happiness coaching can also help you identify a purpose, something that can act as a guiding light for contentment. You can learn more about practices and mindset shifts to feel happier day-to-day, including gratitude, self-reflection, and mindfulness.
While we can take steps to support our wellbeing, there are circumstances outside of our control that can affect how we feel. Happiness coaching, therefore, isn’t about toxic positivity; it’s about accepting what we cannot change and taking control of what we can to cultivate a healthier mindset. This may mean overcoming limiting beliefs, improving our self-esteem and empowering ourselves to go for what we truly want in life.
What is positive psychology?
Positive psychology is an area of psychology that explores wellbeing, strengths and the factors that can help people and communities thrive. Some happiness coaches draw on ideas and approaches from positive psychology in their work, utilising tools to help build resilience and improve happiness.
What does a happiness coach do?
While all coaches have different approaches, many happiness coaches will work with you over a number of weeks to help you feel happier. At the start, you may discuss your life as it is right now, perhaps talking through what may be missing and what you hope to achieve through your work together.
Part of coaching may involve exploring your needs and whether these are being met. Your happiness coach may encourage you to identify your strengths and values as these lend themselves well to this type of work. This may be done through questioning techniques, journaling exercises or even personality profiling.
Together you can then move on to finding ways to get your needs met, utilising your strengths in your life and considering how you can live your values. Your coach will not tell you what to do; instead, they will use questioning techniques to help you uncover your own answers. Happiness is a truly personal thing, so it's important that you find your own answers. You can consider your coach a guide of sorts, asking the right questions that help you reflect, gain perspective, and understand what matters to you.
Understanding what you need to feel happier is one thing; putting it into practice and implementing this understanding into your everyday life is another. This is something a happiness coach can support you with. They may encourage you to set up an action plan, complete with manageable goals for you to work towards.
As cliché as it sounds, happiness truly isn’t a destination; it’s a journey. There likely won’t be a point where you can say “I’m happy now!” and tick it off the to-do list. It’s an ongoing process, but this is where happiness coaching can be so valuable. Instead of pointing you towards quick fixes and shortcuts to joy, your coach will help you find more sustainable ways to support your happiness and wellbeing, teaching you ways to improve resilience as well as activities and approaches you can try to uplift you.
The tools you explore in coaching may also be useful beyond your sessions.
Finding happiness in what you’ve got today will enable you to live a happy life. Coaching can be an excellent environment to help you identify what happiness looks like to you, and then to work out steps to help you bring more of it into your daily life.
- Coach N. Everson, Finding happiness with what you've got
Can a happiness coach help with depression?
Alongside appropriate mental health support, some people may find coaching helpful for looking ahead and making positive changes in their lives. Some coaches specialise in depression coaching, offering support with areas such as setting goals, building confidence and moving forward in a way that feels manageable.
A happiness coach may also support you in exploring what matters to you, recognising your strengths, and finding ways to bring more fulfilment into your day-to-day life. Coaching isn't a treatment for depression, so it's important to find a coach with suitable training and experience who understands your needs.
If you're living with depression, it's important to get appropriate mental health support. Treatment will depend on your individual needs and may include self-help, talking therapies and medication. You can speak to your GP about your options, visit the NHS depression page to find out more about treatment for depression, or in England you may be able to refer yourself directly to NHS Talking Therapies.
Could happiness coaching help me?
If you’re feeling:
- a little lost right now
- like you haven’t been truly happy lately
- as if life is ‘fine’ but you know you want more
- as if everything is a little flat, or has lost its colour
- like you don’t know what you really want
- in need of some accountability and guidance.
then happiness coaching could be right for you. Working with a coach can help you find your bearings, helping you come back to yourself and what you need. It can help you discover what true happiness means to you and how you can reach your full potential. It can offer clarity, helping you understand what you want out of life, while gently guiding you and giving you the sense of accountability you need to keep moving forward.
Everyone deserves to be happy, and while some things are out of our control, there’s more than we realise within our power. Working with a coach can help you tap into that power. Connect with a coach today to start your journey.
