Feeling behind in your 20s? How to find your own direction

Are you sitting there wondering why school taught you algebra but didn’t prepare you for the whirlwind of your 20s? You’re not alone! For many people, their 20s can be a cocktail of confusion, comparison and uncertainty. Let’s face it – this decade can feel like a bizarre adventure, a mix of excitement and bewilderment.

If you’re feeling like a rookie adult, that’s because you are. Your 20s are still relatively early in your adult life, and you don’t need to have everything figured out.

Your 20s are a fast-paced, ever-shifting landscape. One day you’re in college, bonding over microwave meals and late-night study sessions, and the next, you’re attending friends' kids' birthday parties. It’s natural to question your place in this evolving world and wonder if you should embark on a grand spiritual quest to “find yourself.”

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when you see friends hitting milestones like getting married, buying homes, or climbing the corporate ladder, while you’re still deciding between adopting a cat or a houseplant. The comparison game can be brutal, and it’s tempting to think you’re falling behind.

But here’s a refreshing perspective: career, partner, house and kids are often presented as markers of adult success, but they aren’t the only way to build a fulfilling life. Now, we have countless options to explore and paths to forge. This abundance of choices can be thrilling, yet also paralysing.

So, how do you cut through the noise and navigate this decision fatigue?

Instead of offering generic advice like “just be kind to yourself,” let’s get real. One thing that may help is spending some time on self-discovery. It’s time to tune out the external noise and listen to what truly resonates with you. This means getting clear on your own needs and desires, away from the constant buzz of social media and societal expectations.

But where do you start? It can be overwhelming, especially in this digital age where everyone’s life looks like a highlight reel. That’s why one of the first things I recommend is the wheel of life exercise.

The wheel of life can help you look at different areas of your life and consider how satisfied you feel with each one. It can highlight where things feel good, where something may be missing and which areas you might want to give more attention to.

Working through the exercise with a coach can also give you space to explore what sits behind your answers and what changes, if any, you want to make.

Think of the wheel of life as your personal map for taking stock of where you are now and thinking about where you might want to go next.

There isn’t one correct way to spend your 20s, and you don’t need to keep pace with the people around you. Taking time to understand what matters to you can help you make choices based on the life you want, rather than the milestones you think you should have reached by now.