Moving through change: What to leave behind and take with you

Periods of change can be a good time to reflect on the past and consider what comes next. You might have had changes sprung upon you, recently left something or somebody, or be about to start something new – a new job, a new home or that business you've always dreamed of. You might be elated about what is coming or have very mixed feelings.

Change, well, changes things. This can be hard (even when it is for the better). Often, the little things can be hard; they keep hitting home when we least expect it. Over time, you may start thinking about what moving forward could look like, even when the path isn't clear.

Change can also be joyful, exciting, full of anticipation to leave the sordid past behind and ride off into the sunset, and we just can’t wait to close the door on the past and not be reminded anymore how awful it has been.

Whatever your change, the following things can be useful to 'sort out the baggage'. They can be done in multiple steps as you find the time, and you can go back and revisit them as needed or as they start feeling meaningful.

What to leave behind

There might be things we don’t want to keep dragging around with us. Make a list. What is it you don’t want to take along anymore? Flesh it out; draw it. Nothing is too mundane to put on that list.

The socks in front of the sofa? On the list.

The leaky, smelly fridge in the staff room of your old job? On the list.

The snotty now-ex colleague? On the list.

The approval process that did your head in? On the list.

The wafting frying smell from your neighbours? On the list.

How small and insignificant X made you feel? On the list.

The lack of recognition? On the list.

You get it. Fill that list.

Look over your list and consider which things you're ready to leave behind, which may take more time and whether there is anything you still need to address.

Some people find a symbolic ritual helpful, such as ripping up the page once they've finished with it. Others may simply want to close the notebook and move on.

Depending on what you're dealing with, professional support – psychological, legal, financial or coaching – may also be appropriate.

There is also a physical clear-out that can come with it, and there are plenty of ways to go about it that you can find online if you need a method. Donate what is useful (charity shops also do pick-ups and you are supporting a good cause). Sell what is sellable, but set a time limit when it needs to be gone and then donate it.

Don’t make this another thing to fret over - you are decluttering, not looking for another part-time job.

Maybe this is also a time to think about how you've been looking after yourself. Are there appointments you've been putting off, routines that have slipped or areas of your wellbeing that could use more attention? If there is something you're concerned about physically or mentally, seek appropriate professional support.

Other things that might be on the list include:

• catching up on your paperwork
• reviewing any financial admin you've been avoiding
• making a list of practical tasks that need attention
• clearing out that mess that you’ve been avoiding so you can move forward
• having uncomfortable conversations you’ve been putting off

What to bring along (and how to share the love)

We learn and grow through our experiences, and that adds richness and depth, and, let’s face it, some of the mess we left behind makes a very fine story indeed a few years later with a bit of distance.

As you are moving on, like with physical decluttering, this is also about what to keep.

What went well? What did you learn? How did you grow? What are all the things you have discovered about humans, your work, yourself, and the world? Who did you meet? What is the space that you found, the community? What were the high points? How did it make you feel?

Go into this. Flesh it out. Illustrate, pick pictures to illustrate it, revel in the joy and the successes. Find a way to remind you when you are likely going to need it, e.g. a background picture on your computer, a little memento on your desk if you have a fixed one, a fancy watch strap. Reward yourself (but don’t get into debt for it).

Ride that high. Throw a party and celebrate with others who stood by you. As you are revelling in your awesomeness, this is also a good time to update your CV, LinkedIn, and social media with that newly appreciated glory and your awesomeness.

You might also want to find a way to share the love. That could mean mentoring somebody, volunteering, supporting a cause that links to your story or simply thanking the people who helped you along the way. Call them, treat them for lunch, or send them a thank you card.

Share the love. It keeps us all going.