Why everyone needs a coach: My journey to self-discovery

Personally, when I think coach, I think Jurgen Klopp. For those not in the know, he is a football coach, who many consider to be one of the greatest coaches in modern football.

In my opinion, he has a special way about him. He has empathy and connection with the players in his team that I have never before seen. He is a great coach who leads great football teams. He currently leads a team of professional footballers, many of which are world-class, at the top of the game globally. They are all young men with the world at their feet, literally and figuratively. They are the best of the best globally, and yet, they still need a coach.

So, if the world's best footballers need a coach to be at the top of their game, then why do we think we need to walk our life’s journeys on our own? Why do we sit alone, trying to figure out our game plan?

We go through our daily trials and tribulations thinking we don’t need a coach. Our reasons vary but ultimately so many of us believe it to be up to us to resolve our crappy, difficult, overwhelming situations.

I am speaking for myself now, that is very much the thought process I had. Every challenge or big moment I came to in my life was met with my own will to succeed and whatever support I found around me at any given time – family, friends etc.

Am I stressed at work? Smoke a cigarette and pour a beer!
Am I feeling sad? Eat a burger and some chocolate!
Am I feeling tired? Book a holiday!
Am I feeling happy? Pour a beer and light the BBQ!

This was my formula for life and to be honest with you all, it mostly worked. Until of course, it didn’t – at all! There I was, 35 years old and none of this stuff worked. Out of desperation and also because I needed my wife off my back, I finally sought out help.

So, not too many years ago, after building a successful career across two continents, a happy and healthy family life and being married to my sweetheart for over a decade I sought help for the first time. For the first time in my life, I asked someone to, in their professional capacity, help me cope with the challenges in my life.

I thought I was getting help because I needed some direction in my career and maybe gain a better understanding of British work culture etc. Boy was I wrong! Session after session I learned more about how far off the mark I was. For me, it became a journey of coming to know myself – the art of self-awareness, as they say.

Fast forward a couple of years later and (to coin a phrase), I am living my best life! I live in peace with who I am, feeling free to be who I am. I don’t hold on too tight to any expectations of myself, my life, or those around me. I make a point of enjoying the day because days turn into weeks, months and years. That is not to say it’s all smooth sailing, life doesn’t work that way. Life has its tough moments, its dark moments, where I feel like I am about to explode but I have learned and continue to learn what helps me and what harms me.

A lifestyle of body and mind-building habits has helped me immensely. I could have learned this all on my own through research, reading, listening to podcasts etc. but in truth, I know the nature of who I am. I respond best to an individual who sits in front of me, hears me out, and then gives me the feedback and tools I need to be brave and build the life I want.

Coaching and counselling have changed my life, not from the perspective of being a coach, but rather from the perspective of being the client. Without it, I don’t know where I would be, and yes, it has inspired me to go ahead and become a certified coach.

I am a work in progress, which is why I still have a coach I see weekly. That’s one of my safe places and I get to go to that safe place every week. I also have a personal trainer coach who is just as adept at helping me with matters of mental fortitude as well as physical strength. I’m a lucky guy, an average Joe with my own Jurgen Klopp and Pep Guardiola (another football reference) at my side who help me take my daily walk. Coaching has changed me forever and I encourage you to find that coach in your life – whoever they may be.

Aside from my two personal coaches who walk this journey with me, I make an active effort to fill my life with positive, life-building content. One of the ways I do this is by listening to Podcasts. Below are a few of my favourites:

• Feel Better, Live More – Rangan Chatterjee
• How to Fail – Elizabeth Day
• American Glutton – Ethan Suplee
• Armchair Expert – Dax Shepard
• High Performance Podcast -Jake Humphrey and Damian Hughes
• Slow Mo – Mo Gawdat
• Unlocking Us – Brene Brown
• Dare to Lead – Brene Brown

I wrote this article for those of us who feel we need help and don’t know where to start or don’t know what to do next. We all need help from time to time and we all need to start somewhere, I hope hearing a little about my journey will give you that boost needed to take your own and discover your own unique power.