When is the best time to invest in change for yourself?

Some of us seek change on a regular basis. However, change can also be daunting. When facing changes in your life, sometimes that requires outside help and support.

Like good comedy, it really is all in the timing.

When is the best time to invest in effective change for your life? Also, what kind of support do you need to assist in that change? Of course, everyone is different, but I have noticed a pattern, both in my own behaviour and the behaviour of others.

I will break it down to help you pinpoint the timings of change, ways you can help yourself and the right potential source of outside help, if you feel you need it.

When is the best time?

In my experience, there are three common reasons we might start thinking about change: transitions, conditions and decisions.

1. Transition

There is a big shift happening in your life. It could be grappling with a new job, or a new and demanding challenge or project. The prospect of transition could be triggering imposter syndrome, could have you stuck in perfectionism, or could leave you overwhelmed by the task ahead.

When you reach a point of transition, you have a choice:

Option 1: Do it the way you have always done it, based on what you already know and believe. There is nothing wrong with taking a familiar approach if it works. However, sometimes it might need a tweak or an overhaul.

Option 2: Take a new approach based on the specifics of this current moment in your life. Try a new way. Take yourself just outside your comfort zone and see what you learn.

When faced with a transition, you don’t want to panic, but it is an opportunity to grow and move forward. Transition is a time of change.

2. Conditions

“I just can’t take it anymore.” This is a very common moment to seek change.

The moment you realise you can no longer tolerate a job you don’t enjoy, that simply coasting from one situation to the next is only leading to an unfulfilled life, that you really are worth more than you are currently earning.

You are so comfortable that you have become stuck. Accepting a situation that no longer works for you can sometimes lead to boredom or resentment. The conditions are no longer tolerable. If the conditions are negatively affecting you, it may be time to consider what could change.

3. Decisions

Sometimes change starts simply because you make a conscious decision that you want something to be different. You may not be able to control every circumstance, but there may still be choices you can make about what happens next.

As Viktor Frankl wrote about the importance of being able “to choose one’s attitude” even in difficult circumstances.

You might not be transitioning, and your conditions might be great, but you might just decide, “I want to do things better. Could I make this better for the people around me and me?”

Most change may be prompted by transition and conditions. However, it is possible just to decide, it’s time to change.

Which one applies to you?

Which one of the above relates to you right now? Once you know which one you are leaning towards, here are some questions to build some clarity about what you need:

• What kind of life do I want to live?
• When do I want to have that by?
• What is the biggest obstacle to that right now?
• Is overcoming that obstacle a now problem or a later problem?

The answers might come quickly and clearly. They might need to be encouraged out.

Here are some ways to start helping yourself:

1. Start journaling: journaling can be a useful way to unpack your own thoughts.

2. Make specific goals with tangible milestones: with no destination, there is no clear path.

3. Seek outside professional help: an outside perspective can sometimes help you see the situation differently. That could be a counsellor, coach, mentor or therapist.

4. Surround yourself with positive people: think about the people around you. Who encourages you, listens to you and supports the changes you want to make?

5. Change takes true practice and commitment: small actions repeated over time can add up.

What kind of support do you need?

If the timing is right and you would like to get professional help, what kind of help do you need? Here is a top-level way to consider what kind of support might be appropriate:

Counselling or therapy: If emotional distress, mental-health difficulties or past experiences are significantly affecting you, an appropriately qualified counsellor or therapist may be suitable. If you want support to process trauma, seek an appropriately qualified mental-health professional rather than relying on coaching alone.

Mentoring: If you would like guidance from someone with relevant experience who can share what they have learnt, mentoring may be appropriate.

Coaching: If you want to explore your current situation, clarify your goals and consider practical steps towards change, a coach may be able to support you.

Change comes at different stages in our lives. There are many levels of change and ways to get help if you need it. I hope this helps you clarify where you are, what you could start doing for yourself, and, if you want additional support, what kind might be appropriate for you.