The 7 habits and how they relate to coaching

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is a highly influential book, first published in 1989, written by Stephen Covey, an American leadership consultant. Although the book is mainly aimed at business managers, the habits it advocates can apply to many areas of life. So whilst reading the whole book is highly recommended, it’s helpful to have some knowledge of the seven habits that Covey advocates.

The seven habits and how they relate to coaching

1. Be proactive

Being effective begins with acknowledging that it’s up to you to take responsibility for your own life and to decide how you are going to respond to the world around you. As Covey suggests, it is not always what happens to us, but how we respond to what happens to us, that affects us. This is also a core principle of coaching.

2. Begin with the end in mind

Knowing what you want in life is the first step towards achieving it. This seems obvious, but it is amazing how many people can’t answer the question, “What do you want to happen?” They know what they find annoying and that they want things to be better, but can’t say exactly how they would like things to be.

3. Put first things first

This is all about distinguishing between things that may be urgent but are not very important, such as answering every email as soon as it arrives, and things that may not be urgent but are very important, such as planning your next career move. Being busy is very different from being effective.

4. Think win/win

Lots of people live their lives on the principle that they can only regard themselves as a winner if they “beat” others along the way. But Covey argues that the most effective people are those who think we can all be winners when we work together and recognise each other’s strengths and aspirations. The best leaders want the people they lead to feel successful too.

5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood

Many of us act as if the most important part of any conversation is whether or not we have told our story well and got others to hear our opinions. But, in Covey’s view, highly effective people, whether they are leaders, salespeople or friends, begin by asking questions and listening carefully to the answers.

6. Synergise

Synergising is about recognising that every person has their own unique strengths and qualities. You are not better than anyone, and no one is better than you. We are at our most effective when we are allowed to use our own strengths to the maximum and when we allow others to do the same, with encouragement rather than criticism.

7. Sharpen the saw

President Lincoln is often credited with saying that if he was given six hours to chop down a tree, he’d spend the first four sharpening the axe. Similarly, Covey believes that if you are working a nine-hour day and want to be more effective, the answer is not simply to start working for 10 hours a day. It may be better to spend more time looking after yourself through exercise, relaxation, friendship and reflection, so that you can bring your best, most creative self to work the next day.

How coaching can help

Stephen Covey’s seven habits are not just relevant for business managers. They connect with many of the underlying principles of coaching, especially in relation to:

• taking responsibility for your own life and emotions
• deciding what you most want out of life, inside and outside work
• working in partnership with others, helping them to achieve their own goals as they help you to achieve yours
• ensuring you have a good work-life balance

Following these principles, and exploring them through coaching, can help you make positive changes in your life