Empowering you to a new future: one tiny step at a time

Is this all my life has become? Maybe you’ve been asking yourself this question recently, whether consciously or just a silent nagging. Work, running around after the kids, looking after the house, taking care of older parents, trying to sustain a relationship and dealing with a body that seems to have a mind of its own and has developed a couple of creaks and niggles…

Does any of this sound or feel familiar?

We can reach a certain time in our lives when we start to feel a bit lost, stuck in a rut or overwhelmed with the amount of everyday stuff that we’re having to deal with. It can feel relentless.

Some days it’s frustrating, some days it’s simply repetitive and some days you’re just too exhausted to care. Add to all this the mix of world events, politics and the rise (and rise) of the cost of living. I mean, give us a break!

You feel like you have somehow lost yourself or your way in life. Everyone wants a piece of you, and there’s nothing left of you for you. You’ve forgotten what it feels like to be you, fully alive and energised.

This is when we might start feeling overwhelmed or wondering when or how it’s going to change. And the answer is, it isn’t going to change overnight, unfortunately. The likelihood is that this situation has gradually crept up over a number of years, so it’s not going to be a quick fix.

But there is a solution. Life doesn’t have to feel relentless or like you’re on a hamster wheel. There is a possibility for change and improvement. There is a possibility for things to get better and for you to find yourself again.

How to start making changes in your life

If you’re reading this, then you have probably already taken the first step – becoming aware of not being happy and wanting a new, different future. There is a lovely phrase that I share often with clients: Awareness is the beginning of transformation.

We first have to become aware of a habit, behaviour or thought before we can transform it into something different. Once we are aware, then we can consciously choose a different action. This is simple but admittedly not always easy, as habits are hard to break. Consider what you would like instead of the current situation. What would make it better?

We have to remember that we can’t change other people, but we can, with practice, change how we respond to other people and experiences.

So now we are aware of that niggling thought, unhelpful habit or a situation that we would rather not be in, and we know what we want instead. How do we change it?

Transformation comes in tiny tweaks 

Often people get stuck where they are because it feels daunting to try and change things. It might be uncomfortable, but at least it’s familiar. Uncertainty can create anxiety, which can sometimes make it harder to move forward.

So the best way of moving forward is to make tiny tweaks.

• Maybe you catch that inner voice speaking to yourself in a negative way and reframe it to something more helpful.
• Maybe you say no to someone else’s request and make time for yourself.
• Maybe you take the plunge and try a new group, hobby or sign up for that course.
• Maybe you start your day with just five minutes of peace and quiet.
• Maybe you start that gratitude journal.
• Maybe you take a short walk at lunchtime rather than working through at your desk.

Little actions, done consistently, can add up to big results as momentum builds.

Once we start to change our default response and make different decisions, we start to gradually notice we feel different. We feel a bit more confident, less anxious, more energised, slightly freer of spirit. Life doesn’t feel quite as heavy, and perhaps there is something to feel optimistic about.

When we feel better in ourselves, we interact differently with other people. We don’t feel as grumpy, we have more patience, and we don’t let things bother us as much. There can be a ripple effect, as we may have more patience, feel more connected to others and find that things don’t bother us as much.

Your new future starts one step at a time

Wherever you are right now is just fine, but you don’t have to stay where you are if you don’t want to. There is always a choice. Don’t wait for the perfect time to start making changes – the perfect time is now. Your new future is built on tiny actions, one at a time.

If your new future feels a bit scary or a bit blurry, life coaching can help you. Working with a coach is like having a personal cheerleader and sounding board. Someone who takes the time to listen, get to know you and hold up a mirror in a supportive way. A life coach won’t judge you or make you feel silly for wanting your dream life. They are there to empower you to start your new future, one step at a time.