You need quality down time to beat stress and be your best self

Struggling to focus or feeling overwhelmed?

It's time for you to prioritise some quality downtime.

Seem impossible? Or counterproductive? It might feel that way, but there comes a point when working harder or longer becomes worthless. Your brain needs a proper recharge in order to perform at its best and help you make the right decisions. And depending on the strength of your resilience, you could get stuck in an unhealthy stress cycle, making increasingly bad choices for your own mental health. 

Let me explain….

When you are tired, your brain relies on familiar habits and those tried and tested activities and sequences that it can deliver with minimum effort (i.e. using less energy). As you get tired, your brain works hard to protect what precious energy you have left by prioritising those habits it knows well in favour of anything new, unclear or unknown. 

Clever right? And great when those habits are healthy, productive, and actually allow you to recharge properly between those ever-changing work, family and social demands on our time. It works well for those who have trained themselves to know when to stop, how to limit unhealthy worry time and how to say no when they’re over tired. It’s great for those people who crave a healthy balance of nights out and nights in that helps them switch off, switch up, and re-energise in a way that helps them feel alive and motivated rather than distracted and drained. 

Simple if you know how, but sadly, most of us don’t really understand what we need to fully unwind.

When clients come to me feeling stressed out, overwhelmed and unable to concentrate, it’s what they do to relax that most interests me. This is often the priority area needing attention to allow for transformational change.

It's what we do to unwind that can hold the key to feeling more in control, capable, creative and able to show up as our best selves.

Time and again, I’ve listened to clients struggling to find perspective, stuck in a rut, unable to think creatively or problem-solve effectively when stressed with workload. Because they are too strung out and exhausted to see straight.

Understanding resilience and how our nervous system works (the neuroscience behind it!) has helped me understand why.

Because when you experience stress, your fight or flight response is activated and you become more narrowly focussed, on a perceived but very specific threat. You actually lose your lateral vision, as you zone in on the threat or task right in front of you... in other words; you lose perspective. You’re primed for immediate, physical movement; to run from the threat (or chase the food!) with all other non-movement-essential functions including your lateral thinking capability being restricted.

This is why it is so difficult to do anything new or different when you’re stressed. And certainly not a great landscape for change.

How can you perform at your best with restricted creativity?

So, whilst it is important to get all those deadlines, demands, and distractions onto paper and into a format we can work with, where I see the most immediate, noticeable results is what my clients do to both switch off and recharge: their resilience.

Because it's what we do to free our brains from the worries of the day, that allow our internal systems to move from threat response into that critical rest and digest.

And that's where the magic happens. It’s in this rest and digest phase that our brains begin sorting through memories, clearing out the rubbish and making new connections (solidifying learning). It's in this phase thatour bodies begin to heal and our digestion can work to its full effect (having been previously restricted during fight or flight).

We can only be fully present and feel like our true self when we are properly relaxed.

Just imagine the limitations we have all operated under.

When was the last time you felt calm, space and joy?

Too many clients have forgotten how to properly unwind, let go or have fun. They have systematically deprioritised clubs, entertainment and fun times in favour of work. Or, more worryingly, instead of healthy social interaction, they slip into those potentially troublesome, self-soothing crutches of booze, comfort eating or that brain-numbing, counterproductive social media doom scroll. 

Sound familiar?

You might feel like you forget about work for a few minutes when lost down an ‘insta-hole’, but these distractions won't provide the same neurological and soul-nourishing benefits as a good social club, a challenging book or an active night out with friends will bring.

Don’t stress. Just like any habit and behaviour, what was learnt, can be unlearnt.

You can replace those cravings with things that better serve your needs. There are plenty of strategies and techniques you can explore that will help you build your resilience and learn how to prioritise and protect that critical downtime. All it takes is a little bit of self-reflection and then practice (practice, practisc) and before you know it, you’ll be craving things that build resilience and help you feel in control over the bad habits that used to distract you. And as these new habits bed in, you’ll have more energy for the things that matter and will bounce back from challenges faster than you did before. 

So what about you? How do you switch off, rest, recover and recharge?

When did you last get natural energy from doing something you loved?

I’ve included some tips for helping you switch off below, but if you’re struggling to see the wood for the trees, or need help making the change, let’s chat. Let me help you evaluate your energy use and you could see dramatic improvements in just a few sessions.

1. Get it out of your head: get all those deadlines, demands, and distractions out onto paper and look at what you can delay, delegate or ditch. Make a plan for yourself that includes time to problem solve and time to do something totally different. Set reasonable limits on the difficult things so that your brain knows when it can switch off.
2. Plan your breaks: the human brain is only able to focus between 45 and 90 minutes. So set that timer and get up, move around, take that walk, call that friend or listen to a podcast. 
3. Take a deep breath: When it feels too much in the moment, pause, take a few deep lungfuls of breath. Notice how you feel, what triggered it and then ask if you have to deal with that right now? Or would you be better taking a walk and coming back to it with a clearer head (it takes practice but gets easier over time!)
4. Be curious: notice what works well and less well? What are the triggers when things become hard? How can you avoid them? Reflect on progress made. Self-awareness and mental agility (problem-solving) are two of seven key protective factors that enable strong resilience (according to Penn University).
5. Plan ahead: if it hasn’t quite worked out for today, be kind and ask yourself “how can I improve tomorrow? or next week?” The trick with habits is to start small and build slowly.  
6. Do it with friends: Your brain releases oxytocin as you build positive relationships and innovation comes when two different perspectives collide. So exercise those smile muscles, make plans and get involved. Book time in with that friend, club or team. You might also find new opportunities and even solutions to old problems when you share opinions across broader networks. 
7. Finally, if you are struggling get help. I’m here if you want to explore how coaching can help you make positive changes, better cope with stress (build resilience) or overcome a challenge. I’m just an email or phone call away.