It’s not funny, how we don’t talk anymore

Why don’t we talk to each other anymore? I mean really talk to each other. What ever happened to the art of conversation? You know, When you talked and someone really listened and vice versa.

Let’s look at the phone for instance. There was a time when the telephone was the ultimate way to communicate when you couldn’t do it face-to-face.

Before the days of snapchat, viber, watsapp, text messaging (messenger), facebook, twitter, periscope, instagram and all the other communication mediums we use today we used the good old house telephone to communicate.

‘It’s good to talk’ was a slogan BT, used in an ad campaign back in the day (oh how long ago that day seems now) and oh how true it was back then. Talking on the phone was a highlight, a privilege, something to behold, a memorable experience. Not like now when you can’t guarantee you will even have the other person’s full attention and even if you do manage to hold their attention span before you know you are likely to be told by the other person that they have to go due to this fast paced, all action, never have time for anything or anyone lifestyle we all seem to have signed up for without ever reading the small print.

Back then a conversation on the phone was an experience. You organised what time you would ring the person and then you made it an important part of your plans, just as important say if you had an appointment for parents evening, a dentist appointment, a job interview, a... (you get the drift). It was diary entry important. If you were the one to receive a phone call you made sure you were home at the agreed time to ensure you were there when the call came in. Again it was diary entry important.

The housephone was such an important part of the family that everyone in the house paid attention when the phone rang. BRRR BRRR… ‘I’ll get it’ the nearest person to the phone would cry whilst everyone else paused whatever they were doing to find out if the call was for them

A phone call was about sharing thoughts, feelings, finding out how someone was really doing or informing someone about news or relevant information. You really had to listen to the other person and they to you. It was the ultimate way to communicate and you couldn’t take it for granted because a lot of the time you had to arrange a mutual time you would both be available.

In those days people really wanted to talk, not like now when the receiver will only be interested usually if its to their benefit as opposed to having a nice chat and a laugh for no apparent reason.

People of a certain age will remember the embarrassment felt when you received a phone call from a sweetheart and whilst trying to sound all cool and romantic to your beau, you were also fully aware that no one was paying attention to the TV but to your conversation. You felt the collective pregnant pause in the air and then you carried on speaking on the phone while the rest of the family listen to what you’re saying.

Going to the phone box to talk in private was another classic time of life. First having to wait to for the box to be free. Then making sure you had the right change and finally making sure you said what you needed to say before the money ran out and the pips sounded.

In this day and age of technological advancement, this might all sound like a glorious inconvenience to some and it probably was but the build up required to take a phone call whether in private or at home meant that you truly appreciated a phone call and the caller. You gave each other your full attention because there was no other to communicate that quick. Unlike now where you can ring someone and they are trying to discipline children, cook dinner and/or finding something decent to watch on TV.

As a life coach, the phone means so much to me. It is a chance for me to really listen deeply to my clients and to really take time to see the world from their point of view. That way I am able to provide clarity and purpose in order for them to raise their awareness and feel truly empowered.

But now we are living in a world where people have forgotten the true art of communication. The beauty of talking.

If you ring someone they don't answer their phone, but if you text them they reply in seconds. We don't talk face to face anymore but will answer a Facebook comment in seconds. You can call someone to arrange details about something, but they only want to Whatsapp their thoughts.

Nowadays when you try and hold a decent conversation with some people, all you get is the other person's face stuck in their phone. Yes we need these mediums to help life along but we shouldn't be relying on them to communicate

Just for today let's communicate naturally. Phone someone and have a real conversation not just phoning someone because you need something.

The need to chatter really does matter.

The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Life Coach Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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Shepherds Bush, London, W12
Written by Damian Duguid
Shepherds Bush, London, W12

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