Is your child struggling at the start of the new term?

It's not unusual for children to struggle at this point in the new term. They've overcome the whole 'back to school' process; squishing their little feet into new shoes and having to sit still for hours, limited fresh air and running around, and realising the summer holidays are officially over. They may have settled into the new term, getting to know their teacher and the routine, the lessons, the topics, and homework... but at this point, they realise that there are still a few weeks until half-term and that seems a long time. The novelty of what's new has worn off and it just all seems like hard work. 

I've had lots of calls from mums struggling to get their children into school. They've tried being gentle and encouraging. They've taken their child to the doctor for headaches, tummy aches, and sickness. They've tried being more stern in their communication. Eventually, they've let their child stay at home, but are now juggling their own work and the guilt of knowing their child should be at school. 

Does this resonate with you? Worrying all night about the morning and getting your child up and ready, knowing it will be a struggle. Worrying all day if they do go to school, how will they be? Constantly checking the phone, wondering if it's the school or their child calling.

You may not be able to concentrate at work because you feel so guilty – maybe it's your fault? It isn't, but we mums look at ourselves first, don't we? We may blame the school, thinking they're not understanding. Perhaps the school is even suggesting your child be tested for various conditions, such as ADHD, causing you further worry.

Can I suggest a few things? 

You and your child are energetically connected. They were inside you for 9 months, and that connection is still there. They feel what you feel, they pick up on your worry.

I spoke to a mum and daughter the other day, and the mum told me that as she brushed her daughter's hair in the morning, with each stroke she said, "Don't worry darling, it will be OK..." or "Don't worry, it won't be as bad as you think...". In a way, this is hypnotising your child to worry. The repetitive stroking of the hair and head allows the 'don't worry' message to be embedded. 'Don't' is a negative embedded command, and in order to take on board what you are not supposed to do, you have to pay attention to it. So as mum was saying "Don't worry..." in hopes of easing any stress, her daughter was hearing 'worry' and of course, because mum is a person of influence, it means that there must be something to worry about. 

Instead, use this hair brushing time for a positive purpose. As you brush, repeat positive affirmations, such as "You are strong", "you are brave", "you can do this", "all will be well just you see" or other phrases that your child will be reassured by. You can also stroke their head, arm, or back, any way to make a connection and a stroking action. 

Another good tip is before you even go to wake them up, visualise them getting out of bed, smiling and putting on their uniform ready for school. Visualise it being a positive experience. If you can't visualise this, how can it possibly happen? 

During the day, continue to visualise them having a good day and when you see them after school, ask about what fun things they've done. When you show them a worried face, they will likely focus on the negatives, however small they are, to give you what they think you want to hear. 

Use the energetic connection between you and your child to focus on the positive and send them positivity, brave and strong thoughts, confidence and resilience. Practising this regularly will help both of you to adjust to the new routine, reducing the stress and worry that you may be having. Here's to half term and an even better return.