Is your child starting to worry about going back to school?

Children will automatically remember events of the last time they were at school and have worries about what it will be like when they go back. 

They cannot control the past, that time has passed. That ship has sailed, as they say. 

They cannot control what happens in the future, it hasn't happened yet and it concerns what other people do, say and feel so it is out of our control.

Yes, you're right. The only thing we can control is the present. 

Think of the present as like a present, a gift. It is a chance to give ourselves all we need right now. 

Here's how to help your child. 

Ask them how they want to feel about going back to school. Here are some questions and activities, choose according to your child's personality. 

1. What have you learnt over the summer holidays? Let's think back to what you've been up to, make a list or scroll through some photos on your phone to remind them. For each activity, ask what they learnt about themselves and write down the skill, quality or personality trait. Maybe they improved their swimming, how did they do that? Did they demonstrate perseverance? Were they brave, did they listen well to instructions? 

By the time you've been through the activities of their summer holidays, you should have a good list of skills they can apply to their return to school. So finish this activity by just asking them how these new skills will help them. Avoid doing the thinking for them! Tempting as this may be, they will actually get the learning by doing it themselves and they know best what they need for the situations they are worried about. 

2. Leave it a day or so and check in with them to find out on a scale of 0-10 how they feel about going back to school. 0= bad and 10=excited. If their score is below a 5, ask them what they are specifically worried about. They don't need to tell you, just think about it. 

Now ask "That thing you're worried about, do you know for a fact that it will definitely happen?" This feeling is not a fact, it is a belief, like believing in Father Christmas or the Tooth Fairy because no one can predict the future. Just as they have changed over the summer holiday; gone up a shoe size, learnt to overcome a few challenges, gone up a level or few on their game, their hair's grown, whatever you discovered at the last activity, so too have their friends. Nothing stays the same. Instead of expecting what happened in the past, imagine instead an ideal start to the new term. 

They may like to draw a picture of themselves at school, visualizing a great day of all the things they like about school. They could do this on their computer, iPad or whatever tech they like to use. Some may want to use AI although you may have your own view about that. I've played with AI creating stories for children so they could ask AI to write a story about themselves who is worried about xyz and ask it to suggest some ways to feel better and more confident about the return to school. You can use AI to create some positive images to go with it. 

Maybe they'd like to do a vision board using a collage of images that show positive elements of the new term. The images don't need to show the school but maybe have colours or words that inspire them. They can put that on the wall of their bedroom.

3. Introducing a new responsibility such as getting them to set their alarm for getting up in the morning, making their own breakfast, getting dressed themselves, packing their school bag, making their packed lunch, anything like that will mark out how they've developed over the summer holidays and make them feel more confident and self-assured.