How to break free from drama

We all love a good movie or TV show full of tension and plot twists. It makes us feel exhilarated, intrigued and entertained for ninety minutes! We can also experience drama in everyday life, whether it is a big event like a divorce or workplace stress or small such as your washing machine breaking down or dropping and cracking your new phone.

However, the results are the same, our adrenaline starts pumping and our minds and bodies go into stress and panic mode leading to us experiencing overwhelm, tension, anxiety, upset and stress. This can not only be detrimental to our mental health but prolonged stress can also take its toll on our physical health. 

Living in drama

When we live in drama Stephen Karpman suggested we take on one of three roles, these are:

• The victim: when you feel out of control, oppressed and at the mercy of your circumstances.
• The persecutor: when you blame and criticise the world around you as well as yourself.  
• The rescuer: when you try to fix someone else’s situation without giving them the tools to do it themselves.

This is evident in those dramatic movies and novels we all love so much. For example, if you think about the stories we read to our children the princess is the victim, the evil witch is the persecutor and the prince is the rescuer. However, what happens after she is rescued? Does she live happily ever after or is she still impacted by the spell that was put upon her or helpless to further magical attack?

How to break free from drama

In the state of drama, we can continuously be in a vicious cycle for years without ever overcoming it as we are so fixated on the problem and helpless to change it. David Emerald developed a theory called 'The empowerment dynamic' (also known as TED). He believed that by changing our focus from the current dramatic problem to a proactive solution we can alter these negative self-perpetuating roles. He believed that by using empowerment coaching techniques we can go from;

• Victim to creator: Rather than ruminating on all of the things we don’t want we must focus on what we do want. Empowerment coaching can help you to create an action plan as well as provide psychological tools and techniques to achieve these goals.
• Persecutor to challenger: Instead of blaming ourselves and the world we must challenge ourselves to change the problems of the past and create a better present and future.
• Rescuer to coach: Helping others is an amazing ability to have but instead of trying to solve everyone else’s problems you should give them help, support and guidance so they can face their problems now and in the future. This can be done by a friend, relative, parent, co-worker or with the help of an empowerment coach.

Living a calmer and happier tomorrow!

Try to put some of these ideas into action and you should start to feel more in control, optimistic, resilient and less anxious. Remember problems are normal, we all have them, but asking for help is the first step towards overcoming them.