Focusing on what's strong, not wrong
I've discovered over the last eight years of business life coaching that there's direct access to what's going on in people's heads. By really listening to the words and language that people are using - not to answer, or react to, but simply to listen to get.
And I still find really listening the hardest skill; to stay in the other person's world. It's like learning to drive again - I have to remain consciously competent, versus relying upon unconsciously competent.
A better mindset for better results
I think there are five main pillars for maintaining well-being:
5. positive mindset
And there's plenty of evidence that proves we can think ourselves more healthy. It starts with noticing our thoughts, which create the programming for our mindset. This shows up in our internal and external dialogue - what's really going on inside our head is manifested in language.
Everything in life is created twice - once in thought and once in form. The words and language that we generate from our thoughts and mindset will create our reality and outcomes - good and bad.
We have a tendency to especially focus on things that aren’t going well, whether impacting us directly on a day to day basis, like health, relationships, the weather, even someone spoiling our day by cutting us up in traffic. Or by worrying about the bigger stuff; Brexit > Covid > Russia > what's next? Although we can’t help it, these things enter our psyche on a regular basis. And there are plenty of external cues for them.
Instead of dwelling on the negativity, which makes no difference, if we notice this we can become more self-aware, and flip the coin. We can stop, notice, and switch our attention to what’s going well, what’s good, or things we're grateful for - our strengths, values, and all the good that’s actually happening.
Practising gratitude is a great habit.
We dwell on things that go wrong, but how often do you acknowledge the stuff that's strong - like your health, family, your home, positive contacts?
Focusing on what’s strong, not wrong, immediately creates a more positive mindset, and quite often becomes self-fulfilling, with better outcomes.
When you notice your Reticular Activating System - or radar operating - you can start switching this to be a clearing for noticing good, positive, and enjoyable things.
A downward spiral is interrupted, and a limitless positive spiral created - a possibility of life, relationships, health getting better and better every day for the rest of your life.
This can be on an individual basis, what's strong (as well as what's wrong) about relationships, business, community, and even our country.
I found this great 18-minute TED Talk this month and, like the best ones, although recorded seven years ago, it's so relevant for what followed - Brexit, Covid and happening now...
What’s something strong or simply good for you to focus on to pull you into the next minute, day, month, or year?