Divorce & self preservation
Why do we react to situations & allow our reaction to cause pain?
When we feel attacked, our human reaction is to protect ourselves. This causes us to conceal how we really feel by masking our true self, or closing ourselves off to others, completely shutting down to protect ourselves in times of hurt, pain or fear. This is due to the experiences we have had through our life.
We also have the tendency to revert back to our inherited personality traits when reacting in these situations
By closing down the normal energy flow within our body this may cause us to:
- be defensive
- attach blame to others causing bitterness & anger
- respond with attacking words
- replay the pain over & over in our mind
- react to situations without thought.
So how can we move forward?
1. Reflect on your natural reaction
Watch & observe how you deal with painful experiences. Do you shout, snap, or withdraw within yourself?
Does this reaction result in the outcome you desire? Could the situation be dealt with in a more productive way?
2. Stop & breathe
When a painful experience arrives the experience turns into energy within the body & depending on past experiences this negative energy flows through the body or stays & causes disturbance.
When this happens:
2. take three BREATHS,
3. OBSERVE why you feel this way & choose to proceed with LOVE & KINDNESS. This will allow these painful experiences to flow freely rather than remaining and causing bitterness.
This is about reflecting & creating change for YOU, not beating yourself up when it doesn't happen immediately
Personal growth does not happen overnight so observe reflect & make changes.
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About Jo Rayner
I have been involved in coaching for over 20 years & my passion in life has been to help individuals in fulfilling their potential, either in their life, career or managing their finances. I have a diploma in life coaching undertaken with the UK College of personal development and a member of the Association for Coaching.