Reduce the pain of divorce

The break up of a long term relationship can be extremely painful, a pain which only grows with the dividing and deconstructing of a life together, children, finances and your home. It is understandable that the last person you will want to sit down with for a rational conversation is your ex partner, but things need to be resolved and there are ways of making the process more bearable.

First and foremost if it is possible to avoid getting the law involved then this is the best path to follow. Many couples seek legal action post break-up as they feel that things should be distributed fairly. However the process is lengthy and won’t only drain your finances but your emotions too. Unfortunately in many cases things turn bitter and resentful if the judge imposes an order that doesn’t reflect what you had wanted.

Where possible seek help from a mediator. A mediator is an asset in a situation such as this as they will discourage emotional baggage and instead will enable couples to focus on the practical issues which need resolving. They will also help you to come to an ‘agreement’ regarding custody and visitation of the children, finances, the house, material goods etc and once an understanding has been reached an ‘agreement’ can be drawn up and given to the couples respective lawyers.This can then become a court order if the couple wish.

It is essential that the process see’s that both partners are heard. Often one party may feel ‘unacknowledged’ and this only leads to harsh words said in the heat of the moment which ultimately results in no closure being reached. Mediation will help to prevent these kinds of uncomfortable encounters and will instead make sure each person is heard so a conclusion can be reached.

After mediation is complete each party can liaise with their own solicitors to discuss whether the understanding they are reaching will stand up in court. The solicitor will be able to offer advice on what is on offer and therefor if the ‘agreement’ is given the thumbs up it has been done so with the benefit of legal advice.

If you are going through a difficult divorce or breakup and would like to seek the help of a coach then please use the search tool on the homepage of this site to locate a coach in your area. For more information on divorce coaching click here.

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Written by Emma Hilton

Written by Emma Hilton

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