Thinking about making a big life change? Try this simple tool

The start of a new year is seen as a time of new beginnings. We start taking action on all those things we decided to put off until “after Christmas” and think about how we want this year to be different from the last.

But with big changes comes an element of risk. Many decisions, such as quitting a job, moving house or spending a large amount of money on something, are irreversible, so it’s important to know we’re doing the right thing before doing something that can’t be undone.

Making decisions is one of the main challenges I’ve helped clients with recently, and it is something that can be hard for people to work through on their own.

So, how can we make confident decisions and go after what we want without fear of regret?

Below are four steps to “testing out” how the outcome of a decision might go. Think of it like trying on clothes in a shop. You walk around, gather up items that might be what you’re looking for, and then, after trying them on, you decide whether to buy them, try another size, or put them back.

It’s low commitment, low risk, and means you feel confident and excited, rather than fearful, about your next step (whether that’s buying a pair of jeans or moving jobs!).

Step 1: How would this change my life?

Grab a notebook and pen and write down all the ways your life would be different if you [insert big decision here].

For example, if someone moved from a village in the countryside to the city centre, they could:

• go to a yoga class on a Tuesday after work without getting home late
• go out with friends without having to drive home
• go to that nice-looking bakery near work for a pastry and a coffee on a Saturday morning
• join that gym they always walk past that, which looks good
• increase the number of days spent in the office, as they’ll spend less on petrol and commuting

Be as specific as possible and list everything you can think of, even if it feels silly. Also, think about how these changes would improve your life. Would you feel more connected, fitter and healthier, less bored? Write down everything you can think of, then move on to…

Step 2: How can I make these changes now?

It’s likely that you can work towards the list of benefits you made in Step 1 without taking drastic action. It’s easy to think that making one big change will automatically lead to other changes, for example:

“If I sign up for that course, then I’ll definitely start spending five hours a week working on my business”

“If I quit my job to become self-employed, I’ll definitely have a better work-life balance and start going to the gym every day”

“If I moved to a bigger house, I’d definitely start cooking from scratch and making healthier meals”

Look at your list of benefits and decide how you can start implementing the outcomes you want now. Then take action and make it happen! So, the person from Step 1 could:

• commit to going to that yoga class they want to try for the next four weeks, even if it means getting home late
• go out with friends and book a hotel in the city centre to avoid driving home
• drive into the city for a coffee, pastry and a walk one Saturday morning
• arrange a tour of the gym they’d like to join
• start going into the office an extra day a week, even if it means spending more on parking

Yes, these things will involve time, money and inconvenience. But £70 for a hotel room is far cheaper than spending all the costs associated with moving house to realise the realities of city living don’t match up to the dream!

Step 3: Did this live up to my expectations?

After working through the actions you came up with in Step 2, you’re likely to come to one of the following conclusions:

• Everything met or exceeded your expectations, and you’d definitely like to pursue making a big change.
• You enjoyed the actions you took, but not enough to justify spending large amounts of time/money on making permanent changes. For example, the person above may decide to keep going to the yoga class and start booking a hotel if they’re going out with friends rather than driving home, but overall they’d rather stay living where they do.
• The actions didn’t live up to expectations. The yoga class was crowded, the hotel was noisy, the office was empty, and the pastries didn’t taste as good as they looked.

Whatever the outcome, you’ll feel confident in whatever steps you take going forward.

Step 4: What did I learn?

Now, reflect on what you learned and how you’ll move forward. Remember, you don’t have to make any decisions right away, and your next step could simply be to revisit how you feel in a few months’ time.

A real-life example…

I live in the suburbs of North Bristol. Public transport is unreliable, taxis are expensive and unreliable, and I’m not a very confident driver. A couple of years ago, I started thinking, “Would life be better if we sold our house and moved to an apartment in the city centre instead?”

I started going to every meet-up group I’d ever liked the look of, but thought “that’s too inconvenient”, and generally made an effort to recreate the life I wanted by spending as much time out and about as possible.

The outcome? I realised I actually love a cosy night in, and too many social events leave me feeling drained and burned out. We also stayed in a city centre apartment when on holiday, and by the end I was desperate for a good night’s sleep, uninterrupted by shouting, music and traffic noise! My dream of moving to the city centre was over, and I had a new sense of gratitude for the house and neighbourhood I live in.

Ready to get started? Don't feel like you have to do it all alone...

Making a big life change can feel scary, but you don't have to navigate this journey on your own. Working with a coach provides a safe space for reflection, helps you think of new ideas and supports you with making the right decision going forward.

Following the above process also gives you a clear framework to help you get the most from your coaching sessions, ensuring they're a powerful catalyst for growth, development and change.