Learning to love and accept yourself

I’m here to tell you that one of the most important things you can say is, “I love myself.”

Greater self-acceptance may help you feel more comfortable and secure in yourself.

Yet when we love ourselves, there is a peaceful confidence about us, a sense of knowing that we are enough. When we really love ourselves, we stop fighting ourselves, and instead, we can feel our significance and feel more solid in who we are.

There’s a warm glow that radiates from us that others can feel. We can become more attractive to others because people feel safe around us. After all, we are who we say we are; we have nothing to hide, and we are comfortable in our own skin.

How to practise self-acceptance

We need to change the way we see ourselves, but I’m not talking about ego or vanity; I’m talking about authentically appreciating yourself for your existing qualities and for the person you are inside and out. Forgive yourself as you would others. Nobody gets it right all of the time. Stop being overly critical of yourself.

When we feel insecure, we have a tendency to go overboard trying to get others to like us, and it’s just plain tiring. When we don’t love ourselves, we can feel unhappy for no specific reason and, as a result, I think we’re more likely to judge and be overly critical of those around us.

But here’s the thing... we’ve all felt this way - you’re not alone.

You’ve come a long way; you’ve pushed through fear, and you’ve been strong. It’s time to reflect and feel good about how far you’ve come and the obstacles you have broken through.

Recognise your strengths and achievements

You have potential, and you already have beautiful qualities, so slow down and notice when you do things right. Notice your strengths and notice your qualities. The easiest way to do that is through regularly asking better questions to get the answers you need to feel good about yourself.

Ask yourself the questions that will get you the answers you need to empower you. Acknowledge yourself for your successes; don’t just let them go by unnoticed. Give yourself a pat on the back when you do it right.

When you are unhappy, it may be that you’re not being yourself. Get back to yourself, live authentically and be unapologetic for who you are.

What qualities make you unique?

What is it about you that makes you the unique person that you are? What are your qualities? Take a moment to really think about it.

Isn’t it strange how often we are not prepared to say out loud, or even acknowledge to ourselves, the great qualities we already have? Be assured that you have qualities others don’t have. We can all worry so much about fitting in and what others think, when in reality we were each born unique so that we can stand out and present our own particular perspectives to the world.

Don’t worry about being inferior to others, because in some ways you will be - and it’s OK. Everyone is inferior to everyone else in some ways, but on the other side of the coin, you’ll be stronger than others in some ways too, so be proud of who you are.

So make sure you control what you compare things to in a way that empowers you.

And don’t be forced to judge yourself based on other people’s standards of what equals success. Let go of the expectations of others and find your own brilliance based on your own values. You’re amazing just the way you are, so focus on you.

Accept that not everyone will like you

You can’t be liked by everyone. Nobody is. That’s right, nobody.

But it’s not a reflection of you; it’s their stuff. None of us can be everybody’s cup of tea. Be OK with it and let it go.

I’m going to remind you right now of something that you already know, but most of us forget to make a priority. It’s one of the easiest ways to feel good about yourself, and it is something you can integrate into your life every day to feel more alive, fulfilled and loving.

Take action that reflects your values

Be a giver. Give first, pay it forward. If you give love, you can’t help but feel it, and you may feel great about yourself. Even if it’s just giving someone a smile, or a compliment to someone at the till at the supermarket, or smiling and holding a door open for someone. Try giving a bit of love to everyone you meet for one day and see how you feel.

Not only could you brighten someone else’s day, but you may also feel better too if this sits within your core values, .

You will have a string of self-affirming answers to give.

People are scared of change, but if you really want to love yourself, you also need to respect yourself. One of the quickest ways to do this is to start taking some new action. Do things differently. Learn some new things, give yourself some new references to build new empowering beliefs about who you are and what you’re capable of.

If you want to change your life and feel good about yourself, you’ve got to decide to take new action. You’ve got to follow through, and your reward could be a life that feels more aligned with who you really are. If you’d like support building confidence and developing greater self-acceptance, a life coach can help you recognise your strengths, explore your values and move forward with greater self-belief.