Is your relationship the right one for you?

Time to get real and honest! Being in a committed relationship should add value to your life, not make you feel stuck, unseen, unheard, or unfulfilled. Of course, there will be challenges along the road but, ultimately, your partner should enhance your life in a positive way - not detract from it. How do you know which way the scales tip in your union? 

6 signs you’re in the right relationship

Take some time out for true self-reflection and ask yourself the following six questions, being honest with yourself about the answers to each one.

1. Do you feel safe?

This means physically, emotionally, and psychologically safe. Do you feel comfortable being authentic and vulnerable with your partner? You should be able to be your true self without fear of judgment, criticism, or harm. Does your partner support and understand you, or do you worry about their reactions? Love should feel like home, not like you’re tiptoeing around a minefield.

2. Is there laughter? 

A relationship without laughter, playfulness and joy is exhausting. Do you genuinely enjoy each other’s company? Do you share jokes, find joy, and make great memories together? A great partnership adds happiness to your life, it shouldn’t feel like a chore.

3. Is your partner generous with you?

This is not just about money or gifts, but are they giving of their time, effort, patience and compassion, are they showing up for you and giving as much as they take? If you’re the one putting in most of the work and being emotionally drained, that’s not a balanced partnership.

4. Do they keep you accountable? 

A great partner won’t just tell you what you want to hear, they’ll help you stay on track with your goals and values. Do they challenge you in a loving way, or do they avoid tough conversations and let you slide when you’re off course? Growth happens when someone cares enough to be compassionately honest with you.

5. Do you feel like a better version of yourself with them? 

The right partner pushes us to grow, not through criticism, but through love and support. Do they inspire confidence and self-improvement, or do you feel drained, stuck, or even lost in the relationship? A great partner makes you feel like your best self.

6. Are you compatible? 

Do you share core values and beliefs? Do you agree on the big stuff, such as; how to raise children, or if you even want children, your finances, the type of lifestyle you want to live, and future goals? Do you have shared interests? You don’t have to agree on everything on every single level, but you need to be compatible on the key things that are important to each of you, otherwise, you will never feel truly fulfilled in your relationship. 

Choose yourself

Of course, these things can change over time for each of us. We may, at times, be the one who gives more emotional support, and then it sways to us perhaps being the one who needs more from our partner. This is completely natural in long-term relationships and will be impacted by what else is going on in our lives at the time. However, if the consistent theme is a negative one, this is not a healthy relationship and you are abandoning yourself.

If your relationship isn’t ticking any of these boxes, it’s time to be honest about why you’re there. Ask yourself: Am I staying because I’m truly happy, or just because I’m scared to leave?

We all deserve a relationship that feels safe, joyful, and supportive - a true partnership. If you’re not getting that, it might be time to let go and make room for something better. 

Working with a relationship coach can help you cross that bridge from being in denial, or feeling fearful to change your situation, to a much happier and fulfilling life.