How to network with confidence (even if you hate it)

Are you looking for a new job?

Are you self-employed and looking to build more contacts?

If so, you've probably been told to get out there and do some networking.

But how do you feel when you hear the word "networking"?

Do any of these sound familiar?

• "It's intimidating."
• "It's for other people, not me."
• "I don't know how to do it."
• "It terrifies me."

If the thought of business breakfasts or speed networking events fills you with horror, take heart, it doesn't have to be like that.

Networking is just a conversation

Networking can be as simple as emailing someone you know vaguely and offering to buy them a coffee in exchange for a chat.

Here's a little secret:

Networking is simply having a conversation.

No more.

No less.

In fact, why not stop calling it networking altogether?

Think of it as a conversation, a coffee, a catch-up, or simply getting together with someone interesting. That small shift in mindset can make all the difference.

Focus on giving, not selling

Another way to change your perspective is to stop thinking about what you might gain from the conversation.

Instead, ask yourself:

"How can I help this person?"

Perhaps you could:

• Introduce them to someone useful.
• Share some helpful information.
• Recommend a book or resource.
• Simply enjoy spending an hour listening to their experiences.

The best networking conversations are built on genuine curiosity and generosity rather than trying to sell yourself.

You never know where one conversation might lead

The magic of conversations is that you never know what opportunities they may create.

You don't know which doors they might open until you start talking to people.

Seven simple ways to start networking

Write down the names of everyone you know. Don't forget former colleagues, friends of friends and your LinkedIn connections. Make a shortlist of people you'd genuinely like to speak to. Invite a few of them for a coffee, lunch or a drink after work. Before you meet, think about what you can offer rather than what you hope to gain.
Enjoy the conversation.

Follow up promptly on any promises you've made and thank them for their time.
Then choose a few people from your list and repeat the process.

Just be yourself

Above all, be yourself.

People are far more likely to remember how you made them feel than exactly what you said.

As Maya Angelou famously said:

"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

Sometimes, one genuine conversation is all it takes to create your next opportunity.