How your thoughts shape your beliefs and behaviour

When I started my personal development journey, there was one piece of information that hooked me almost instantly.

I am not sure which book it was I was reading; I am sure it was a book about NLP, though, where I learnt about the reticular activating system.

I'm not entirely sure which book I was reading at the time, but I know it was about NLP, and it introduced me to something called the Reticular Activating System (RAS). In personal development, the RAS is often used to explain how our brains naturally pay more attention to the things we focus on.

Let me explain.

Imagine you're thinking about buying a new car and you've decided on a Ford Fiesta.

A week later, you seem to notice Ford Fiestas everywhere.

You walk down the street, and there's one.

You open a magazine, and there's another.

You watch television, and there's another advert.

It suddenly feels like they're everywhere.

The cars haven't suddenly appeared. You've simply become much more aware of them because your attention is focused in that direction.

Isn't the mind amazing?

Unfortunately, it works this way with negatives as well. If you believe you are a failure...well, your mind will “go out there” and prove it to you. It’ll search for the evidence to prove your belief is true. 

Understanding your thinking

Not many people know this, and unless you are involved in personal development, you won't be aware of this. However, once you do know, how can you ignore it? It’s not just knowing - all of a sudden you have control right in your hands (or mind, for that matter). I still remember learning and feeling such a relief. It meant I could change what I did not like about myself. Now that’s some powerful stuff. 

Let me just say with a warning: changing the beliefs, rewiring your brain, is not easy. It is a process that requires your commitment - but once you do it, you won’t regret it. 

Let’s explore what you could do:

1. Challenge your thoughts

The number one thing you could do for yourself is to start challenging your thoughts. Ask yourself:

• Do you think positive thoughts?
• Do you usually bring yourself down?
• Do you constantly doubt and worry?
• Or are you cheering yourself on?

One of the ways beliefs are formed is by repetitive thoughts. If you are constantly bringing yourself down, the chances are that your whole belief system is set up that way. There's no chance you'll be able to achieve any good things or any kind of success this way. 

Start by examining your thoughts. What's going on in your mind when you're not paying attention? Take about a week to do so. Ideally, you'd want a journal to keep a record of the thoughts that keep popping up. If you are not a big fan of writing, consider using reorder on your phone. Whatever works best for you. 

You'll soon see that most of the thoughts do repeat! 

When that happens, reflect - when do these thoughts pop up? Is it before doing the same action, event or a certain time of the day? 

I've listened to Tony Robbins' audiobook on my phone a couple of days ago. He calls the beliefs "lies"; why? Because they are not necessarily the truth as much as we might think they are. Sometimes it turns out they are very far from the truth. He went on to explain that, by calling them lies, he keeps his mind open to understand that they might or might not be the truth. 

Your beliefs are the repetitive thoughts, but they are only thoughts. You can change them. Some of them may already be unconscious. They are part of you and your thinking patterns. 

2. Look into the future

If you followed my first step, you've now spent about a week journalling and paying attention to your thoughts.

You have probably noticed some negative patterns or triggers. There may be certain situations where these negative beliefs pop up:

• You feel inadequate at work
• You don’t feel appreciated at home
• You believe you have no talent and no skill, so why bother looking for that new job (instead of settling for work that brings you no joy)?

Whatever it is for you - look into the future. Imagine that you keep thinking the same negative thoughts for the next 10 years. What is that like? 

Are you prepared to accept this for the next 5, 10 or 20 years?

Are you prepared to not make a change and settle even though you know that change is within your power? Start working through your beliefs and start noticing the difference. 

3. Leave yesterday in yesterday 

Start fresh without yesterday lingering around. Know that today is a new day and it is your chance to create something new, become the person you want to become. 

Whether you want to feel more confident, more positive or more hopeful, it's your chance to do it! 

One tip I can give you here is to reflect on the day. Each night before you go to bed, reflect on what went well, what did not go so well and what you can learn from it. Then put it to rest. And when you wake up, you no longer have to dwell on yesterday. You’ve learnt, and now you’re moving on. Always look ahead.

4. Set an intention for your day

It's too easy to wake up in the morning and almost unconsciously pick up from where we left off yesterday.

To break this cycle, you need to begin by setting your intention:

• What day do you want to experience?
• How do you want to feel?
• How do you want to approach your day?
• What do you want out of today?

Don’t be swirled by the business of your days. Set clear intentions and go for it. 

You can do this either as soon as you wake up as part of your morning routine, or set it the night before and put it on your alarm so you are reminded of your intention as soon as the alarm buzz goes off. 

5. You have got to take action. 

There's no other way. No one will do that for you. If it's for fear of some kind, you're hesitating. There is no easier way to create new neurological pathways than by taking action. 

Your thoughts are not your future

The stories you tell yourself today influence the choices you make tomorrow.

The good news is that those stories are not fixed.

By becoming more aware of your thinking, challenging limiting beliefs and taking consistent action, you can begin creating new habits, greater confidence and a more positive future.