3 ways to stop fear holding you back

Have you ever felt completely overwhelmed by fear - to the extent that it stopped you from doing something you really wanted to do? You are not alone. Fear can sometimes become a significant barrier to doing the things we want to do.

Whether it’s the fear of not being good enough, of failing, of what other people will think or what we might lose, most of us have experienced that little voice in our head telling us, “You can’t do that”.

The thing is that if we allow fear to hold us back and stop us from pursuing our dreams and goals, it can affect our confidence, self-esteem and the choices we're willing to make. Sometimes, fear can leave us feeling stuck and reluctant to take action towards our goals.

However, it doesn’t have to be this way. Fear is a natural response to situations we perceive as threatening, uncertain or unfamiliar. Sometimes it protects us from genuine danger; at other times it can hold us back from something we would like to do. While we can't simply switch fear off, there are ways to understand it and consider how we want to respond.

1. Examine your expectations

One of the main things that can contribute to our fears is our expectation of the outcome. Do you usually find yourself expecting the worst in every situation? Do you find that you worry about everything that might go wrong instead of also considering your strengths and capabilities?

Try to consider the situation more realistically rather than automatically expecting the worst. Focus on how success will feel and what achieving your project or goal will do for you. Keep reminding yourself that you may be able to handle more than you think, and consider the times that you have already done this in your life.

When a fearful thought comes up, ask yourself what evidence supports it, what evidence doesn't, and whether there are other possible outcomes.

2. How to slay your dragon

When fear takes hold, our minds can sometimes jump from what might go wrong to much bigger consequences. However, if you take a moment to analyse your fears when they arise, you may be able to put some of them into perspective.

For example, if you have a fear of public speaking and your boss wants you to give a presentation at work, you might feel like your credibility or role in the company is on the line. Maybe you fear getting fired, or worry that your colleagues will lose respect for you if you don’t do a great job.

But in reality, how likely are these outcomes? Rather than worrying about the outcomes if you don’t give a good presentation, start brainstorming all the ways you can improve your performance, such as making sure your materials are well prepared, practising your delivery numerous times, writing notes and checking that you know how to use any equipment such as microphones or projectors.

3. Just do it

Fear is a feeling, and feeling afraid doesn't always mean that you're in danger. Where a situation is safe, it may still be possible to take action even while some fear is present.

If you weigh up the pros and cons in a situation, ask yourself:

• What’s the worst that could realistically happen?
• What’s the best that could happen?
• What’s most likely to happen?
• What could I do to prepare?

Then focus on the actions you can take to minimise the perceived risk. Once you've considered the risks and what you can do to prepare, decide whether you're willing to take the next step even if some fear remains.

Overcoming fear doesn't always mean getting rid of it. Sometimes confidence comes from recognising the fear, checking whether it's telling you something useful and taking a manageable step forward anyway.