How do I stop comparing myself to others?

How do I stop comparing myself to others? Clients often ask me this question.

Many of us fall into the habit of comparing our homes, bodies, careers, children and behaviours to others. Even though I know the dangers of being caught in the comparison trap, I still find myself drawn in.

Picture the scene: I’ve just come back from a fabulous two weeks in Turkey with my family. On the day of arrival, I’m by the pool in my bikini, feeling pale but relaxed and pretty good. My focus then drifts to other women around the pool and, before I know it, I’m in full-on “comparititis” mode.

Thoughts like, “That’s a lovely bikini, but how would it look on me?” or “Wow, she has a fabulous figure.” These thoughts as observations are harmless, but if I then use them to judge myself against, they can knock my confidence and body image.

So how do you stop this “comparititis”? It’s all about changing your mindset around how you define yourself. Have a read of these quotes:

• “A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms.” - Zen Shin

• "The only person you should try to be better than is who you were yesterday." -Unknown

Back to the pool in Turkey. To avoid falling into comparititis, I reminded myself that how other people look does not affect how I am perceived, how my family love me or my value as a person. Whether a supermodel sits down beside me or not, I am still OK and good enough. I chose not to let any passing negative thoughts affect my self-esteem and instead to look at others with curiosity, not judgement.

Does this resonate with you? Do you struggle with comparititis?