How to build confidence and believe in yourself again

Confidence isn't something that only a fortunate few possess. It can be strengthened, rebuilt and developed over time through self-awareness, supportive habits and the right guidance. Whether your confidence has been affected by difficult experiences, challenging relationships or self-doubt, there are practical steps you can take to build greater self-belief and feel more confident in different areas of your life.

Knowing how to build our personal confidence can be helpful in an increasingly challenging world. We all have times when our confidence is lower, and we want to be more confident. If you are reading this, it may well be that you have low confidence and have had it for some time. It might be that circumstances have meant that you have difficult relationships and don't have the support you need. It may be a more longstanding issue for you. 

How might low confidence show up?

Low confidence can affect people in different ways. Some of the following experiences may feel familiar, although they can also have other causes.

• Finding that you are anxious a lot of the time?
• Unable to accept compliments?
• Playing it safe in social situations and not being yourself?
• Neglecting yourself and your self-care?
• Worrying about what others think of you?
• Avoiding taking on new challenges?
• Expecting little of your life?

Confidence can develop over time, and there are different ways to support this process. If you recognise yourself in some of the points above, then the good news is that there are practical things you can do - things that will bring energy, fun, and accomplishment into your life!

How to address low confidence 

Here are a few things you can do right now to start working on building your confidence:

• Try learning something new. Whilst being a beginner is challenging, if it's something that you enjoy, it reminds you that you can still learn and grow.
• Find ways to move your body that work for you. Physical activity, whether that's walking, stretching or trying something new, can support physical and mental well-being and may help you feel more capable. Choose activities that suit your abilities and circumstances.
• Stay connected. Find one person who is on your wavelength. Personal connections can provide emotional support and contribute to our well-being.
• Keep a journal. Try spending a few minutes writing down whatever comes to mind, or reflecting on how you're feeling. Journaling may help you notice patterns in your thoughts and explore what's affecting your confidence. If difficult emotions come up, it's OK to pause or seek support.
• Say or write down three things that you are grateful for. You might find it helpful to do this before bed, reflecting on moments or experiences you appreciated during the day. This can be one way of shifting your attention towards the positive, without ignoring any difficulties you're facing.
• Give your negative voice a name, a daft or whimsical name. When the recurring negative thoughts come up, then this enables you to gently say "thanks for trying to help me with these thoughts, however, it's not very helpful right now, can you take care of me another way". This practice of self-compassion may help you develop a kinder relationship with yourself and support your self-belief.
• Consider coaching if you'd like additional support. A coach may be able to help you explore unhelpful patterns, recognise your strengths and develop habits that support your confidence.

How do coaches help with confidence?

My clients have told me that coaching gives them:

• more accountability in carrying out new behaviours
• a different and more flexible mindset
• increased self-belief
• insight into their strengths and how to play to their strengths
• the ability to more easily express their feelings and beliefs to others

Building confidence takes time, and what works for one person may not work for another. Whether you start by trying something new, connecting with others or practising self-compassion, small steps can help you gradually develop greater trust in yourself and your abilities. Remember, confidence doesn't mean never experiencing self-doubt; it's about learning how to respond to it and recognising the progress you make along the way.