Self-doubt and overthinking: The 'train' of thought exercise

It's a click-bait title - but I promise to keep the intro brief and get to the technique. What is one thing that self-doubt, worry, anxiety, overthinking, second-guessing, procrastination, self-criticism, and confusion all have in common? Cyclical, repetitive thought patterns.

You get on the 'train of thought' at the first station: "Did I speak well enough in that meeting?" You ride it to the next station. "My colleagues will never see me as good enough" Perhaps one or two more stations down the line, you reach "What if they fire me?"

Most of us, at this point, bounce back and forth between stations one to four, like a beach ball at a Nickelback concert. Our minds just cycle between the same thoughts and images. 

Fear. Or one of its many less pure forms: anxiety, irritation, anger, despondency, hopelessness, shame, sadness, etc.

The emotion stems from thoughts and images in our minds, using them as fuel. I've made the habit of a lifetime out of being afraid of what following a scary thought through to its end might bring. Most of us share this habit.

How to break the cycle of repetitive thinking

You can interrupt the source of painful emotions; break the habit of cyclical, repetitive thinking and imagining. You can get off the train of thought.

How? By thinking in a straight line. Ride that train right to the final station on the line - the terminus, the final station.

There are two parts to this technique, which we'll explore below.

Part one

First, get clear on the situation you are worried about:

• What is it you don't want to happen?
• What might go wrong?
• What or who is causing you to feel distressed/angry/disappointed/anxious?

With that in mind, imagine this situation truly happening to you. Really feel the consequences. What is the worst that could happen?

Get clear on what that worst scenario is. Next, ask yourself:

• What is so bad about this worst-case scenario?
• What is to fear about that scenario occurring?
• What real-world outcomes are there?

Once you have got clear on the above answers, take a break for a minute. Chill. Then, using your most recent answer, ask yourself the same question again. What is so bad about my previous answer occurring?

Now ask it again. And again. Keep going. Deeper and deeper.

Part two

Eventually, after asking that question enough times, and digging into the emotions, real-world outcomes, etc, you will get to the 'end of the line'. The terminal station.

At this point, usually, you will end up in one of two scenarios:

Break the situation down into two parts:

• What is within my control? And, therefore, what I can change, take action on, and begin to influence the situation. Solid action and momentum is one of the best antidotes to worry.
• What is outside my control? Consider whether continuing to focus on this is helping you, and where you might redirect your attention instead.

"May I accept the things I cannot change; have the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference."

-The Serenity Prayer, Reinhold Niebuhr. 

Are you ready to break this habit and overcome self-doubt? Working with a coach can help you identify patterns, break them down and create healthier habits. Use our search tool to find a coach today.