Understanding your emotions

As we go about our daily lives, it’s easy to lose sight of our emotions and ignore how we’re feeling. Many of us were not taught to tune into our emotions, and it can be challenging to know what we’re feeling or why. In this article, we will explore the importance of understanding our emotions, how to identify and connect with them, and why it’s vital to meet our feelings.


Why we don't know how to feel

Many of us are out of touch with our emotions because we were not taught to tune into them. Our parents or caregivers may not have known how to identify their emotions or the importance of acknowledging them. Additionally, many people may have become so accustomed to tuning into how other people feel that they do not think about how they feel.

You may also have weak emotional boundaries or rigid boundaries. With weak boundaries, you may feel something and project it onto everyone else. Similarly, if someone else is feeling strongly, you may absorb their feelings. It can be difficult to separate your emotions from others if there is no clear boundary between them. With rigid boundaries, you may not only be cut off from what other people are feeling, but also from yourself.

What are emotions?

Emotions are complex experiences that have three main aspects:

1. Naming the feeling

There are seven primary emotions ranging from anger, joy, fear, and sadness to love, disgust, and surprise. Language is so important in helping us not only understand our own experience better, but then communicating that to others, so if you find it difficult to name your feeling, you might find the Emotions Wheel helpful with this.

Once we have identified our emotions, we can start to explore what may have triggered them and what they may be telling us.

Don’t get too hung up on the label though. Don’t worry if you can’t name the emotion, just notice what is happening in your body. This brings us onto the second point.

2. Movement

Pay attention to any sensations you notice in your body. For example, when you feel angry, your cheeks might go red and you might feel your heart beat faster.

3. Energy

Everything in the universe is energy. We, as human beings, are energy, and so are our emotions. Different emotions carry different kinds of energy. Love and joy carry high-vibration energy whereas shame and guilt carry low-vibration energy.

How to tune into and identify our feelings

To identify our emotions, we must first tune in to them. This may require us to pause and pay attention to our internal experiences. We can do this by taking a few deep breaths, noticing the sensations in our bodies, and focusing on our thoughts and feelings.

Sometimes our emotions overwhelm us, sometimes we can’t feel anything and sometimes we need some help to work through them. This is where emotional coaching or therapy can be extremely helpful.

It’s important to remember that emotions are not good or bad. They are simply signals that tell us something about ourselves or our environment. When we can identify our emotions and the messages they carry, we can better meet our needs and make choices that align with our values.

Why we need to know how we feel

Tuning into our emotions is essential because it provides us with vital information about ourselves. Our feelings are part of our truths, and understanding them can give us the power to meet our needs. If we know that we are feeling lonely, for example, we can seek connection with others or nature to fulfil that need.

Our emotions also inform us about our boundaries, particularly anger. When we feel uncomfortable about something or someone, it can be an indication that our boundaries have been crossed. If we don’t know how we’re feeling, we may not be able to identify when this happens and may struggle to set healthy boundaries.


In conclusion, meeting our feelings is crucial for our emotional well-being. By tuning into our emotions and identifying them, we can better understand ourselves and our needs. We can also make more informed choices that align with our values and set healthy boundaries. While it can be challenging to connect with our emotions, taking the time to do so can be empowering and transformative.

The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Life Coach Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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Guildford, Surrey, GU1
Written by Helen Snape, Relationship Renewal Coach
Guildford, Surrey, GU1

Helen is an award-winning Confidence and Relationships Coach who helps agreeable women say No and develop strong relationships at work and at home by building boundaries, confidence and effective communication skills.

Helen has been coaching for over 10 years, has a degree in Psychology and is qualified in mindfulness and trauma.

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