The 5 biggest regrets people have when they are dying

As I am approaching 50 years old, I recently sat down with my financial adviser to create a plan for the next 20 to 30 years of my life. He had some interesting advice which struck me as sensible and yet harsh in its honesty. He advised me to front-load my money in retirement and plan to spend much more in the first half then the second half. 

His blunt assessment was that as we age, we naturally become less mobile, less adventurous, less energetic and less interested in spending money. Do you really want to be the richest person sitting and drooling in a wheelchair at an elderly home? He asked frankly. 

How many years of health left do you have?

When put like that, it seems clear that you would want to travel, splurge and enjoy more of your retirement savings in the early years - and yet, as a cautious person it can feel very uncomfortable to take this risk.

We often assume that we will be healthy and able up until the day we die peacefully in our sleep. Unfortunately, the reality is often very different. 

And while it is uncomfortable to look at, the sad truth is that all of us will die someday. We just prefer not to think or talk about it. And yet, only by looking at it clearly, can we find the motivation to live our lives to the fullest, go after those bucket list dreams and truly change to be the person we want to be. 

Over 10 years ago, Bronnie Ware wrote her classic book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing. Bronnie was a nurse in a palliative care ward and wrote the book based on her conversations with patients.

When people realised that their life was almost over and looked back clearly on it, it was easy for them to see how many dreams had gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

But while her dying patients were helpless in the face of their regrets, you and I still have time to do something about our regrets, before it’s too late.

The 5 biggest regrets people have when they are dying

• I wish I didn't work so hard.
• I wish I had the courage to express my feelings and speak my mind.
• I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
• I wish I had let myself be happier.
• I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

Can you look in the mirror and know that these won't be your regrets on your deathbed? Everything in our life is a choice and yet, we allow ourselves to feel stuck, trapped, unwilling and unable to change. 

In 2018, I finally had the courage to give up my corporate job and start my own business. To live a life that was true to myself in a way my corporate job never was. My vision for this new life began six years ago when I worked with my own life coach.

I needed to face into the uncomfortable truth that I wasn't enjoying my job anymore - no matter how stable and secure it was. Working with my coach, I created a new vision for what my life could be and mapped out a clear plan on how I was going to get there. 

How many dreams do you want to achieve in this life?

Creating your dreams can take time, money, focus and above all else courage. Courage to look inside yourself and identify what is missing or lacking in your life. It can be hard to hold a vision of a new direction and plot out a sensible plan to achieve it. It can be exhausting to pick yourself up after you didn’t achieve your goal again this year and get motivated to try again.

Having a coach beside you who helps, encourages, cheers, challenges and motivates you can make the difference. Having someone by your side and focused on your success is invaluable. Be honest with yourself today about the dreams, feelings and desires you have. You can make changes and you can achieve them.

Don't wait out any longer. Make this the year you celebrate achieving some of your dreams.