Take action towards your desires: The grass can be greener

In today's fast-moving, social-media, content-driven digitised world, many of us find ourselves constantly on the move and wanting things to be different but not having "time" to do anything about it. We tell ourselves we’ll look at the "later". When the kids go back to school, when we get the promotion, when we’ve sorted the house.

Whether it's a desire for a change in location, a new job, financial status, or relationships, we often think that our lives would be better if they were somehow different. Most people say "The grass isn’t greener" and while I agree sometimes, I don’t always think this phrase always applies. Sometimes the grass is greener.

I think we know what’s good for us. I think we all have dreams, even if we haven’t thought about them for a while. We all know deep down what it is that we want to experience. We may just not have thought about it for a while.

Often, I work with people who don’t think they know what their dreams are (though usually we figure out they have loads of goals!).

You see, part of us inherently knows what is good for us. At the same time, the brain has loads of reasons to not listen to it. Part of our brains like the unknown, they like certainty. We’ve been taught (usually as kids growing up and through our interactions in society) that what we want isn’t OK.

This can contribute to our brains telling us we’ll do something "later". Our brains might say, "I can do it, but just not today. I'll do it when..." This logic often acts as a barrier to stepping out of our comfort zones. It keeps us from having to challenge the internalised social norms that have kept us in a situation which ultimately makes us feel stuck.

When we say we’ll do something later, the brain can change what 'later' means as it sees fit. It can’t do that with "now". There’s no doubt about the now. There’s every doubt with the future.

When we make our actions towards something we truly want, conditional on a future outcome or scenario, we place the power in things outside our control. We tell ourselves, I can only gain all the benefits of going after the thing I desire once I’ve achieved something. Rather than allowing all those benefits to fill our lives now. This can lead to frustration, loss of confidence and motivation.

So, we end up being caught between feeling scared of the uncertainty of the future and a future feeling of disempowerment and a future loss of motivation. But the present moment is all we truly can say we have with any certainty.

Understanding where you are at this moment in time, what you truly desire and gaining the confidence to take steps toward this is one way in which to create a fulfilled life.

How to balance the two?

Well, the first thing is to recognise that there’s never a good time to do something, particularly when it comes from that place that "deep down" knows something is good for you.

The second is to become aware of when you put conditions upon your dreams. Then think about it - is this something I really need to put off until I’ve done something else? Can I take this step now?

The third is to recognise you can take small steps towards your dreams. You don’t need to make drastic changes overnight. There is always a step you can take right now to turn your dreams into reality, no matter how small. Accepting that part of you truly wants something and taking action about it now can feel really empowering. This also helps your brain to recognise that your dreams are actually a reality because taking any action signals to your brain that it is OK to do so.

One way to think about this is to catch ourselves when we say we’ll do something "later" and instead reframe our situation to ask ourselves what is one step I can take today using the current resources I have right now.

The present moment contains your future. What steps are you going to take today?