Step 5- What does the relationship offer to me?

This is the 5th step in my 6 step relationship decision making guide. Please see the other articles for steps 1-4.

This step should reflect and mostly match what you WANT from the relationship.

A good way to check what the relationship OFFERS against what you WANT, is to directly check for evidence of those things on your list.

If you are not yet in a relationship how will you know when you meet someone who does meet those WANTS? What proof or evidence can you look for that this or the next person you meet matches the values, beliefs and qualities that are important to you? How will they act, what will they say, what signs can you look out for?

For example:

 “I want someone who is loyal.”

 Evidence to prove loyalty = Lots of friends who have been around for years.

 “I want someone is reliable.”

 Evidence to prove reliability = Always does what they say they are going to do and doesn’t me let or other people down.

 Finally, using your list, you need to write down an answer to this question: What would happen if any of your WANTS are not present or OFFERED in this or any relationship?

This step of the process is designed to have you face what it would be like without a quality and to think more clearly on whether it really is a genuine WANT, a deal breaker or something you can compromise on. If it is a deal breaker then the decision is made that this is not the relationship for you - it’s close but not right. Hopefully you have learnt through this relationship and have had some positive experiences.

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