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Relationship Goals -Step 6 What does the relationship require?

This question should match what you can OFFER to the relationship. See Step 5

For instance the relationship REQUIRES commitment and time – can you OFFER your commitment and your time?

 The relationship might require you to compromise on something. Perhaps your partner already has children or is divorced and this is something you thought was a deal breaker. Perhaps the relationship requires you to relocate or give up some of your free time or care for an ageing pet when you have allergies. Are any of these deal breakers? Perhaps your partner can’t have children and you have dreamed of being a parent - are you able to live without having children as this relationship requires it or not?

These are some big questions with possible major decisions needed. Comparing these against how important this relationship is in your life should help you find the answers.

Each question within the  6 Step process works in harmony, with the 2 sides of self-awareness and opportunity reflecting and balancing each other. You may well find out some things are not as big a deal as you first thought and so choose to reprioritise or compromise on them. As importantly, your deal breakers should become more apparent and whether to invest your affections, time and energy in this relationship. The WANTS and REQUIRMENTS will always be changing, as you will be constantly changing an evolving and so will the relationship. The answers to the six questions on this model are never set in stone.

Putting the 6 Steps Into Action

When meeting new prospective partners, give yourself time to get to know them while asking yourself the questions from the model. The model should be used as a whole with the different questions helping you understand different aspects of the relationship.

Do they fit the list of things you want from a relationship?

What do they want and require from a relationship?

What do they have? What don’t they have?  Which of these is essential to me? Which can I live without/ not live without?

Am I willing to compromise? Do I need to think about looking at how I have ranked what I want?

Are they what I am looking for?

What do they want from a relationship?

If the answer is NO:

Move on to the next person who does have all the things you are looking for...there will be another right around the corner.  And this person will meet someone else more suited to them!

If the answer is YES:

Great! Keep getting to know them and keep finding evidence to show you they have the values, qualities and beliefs you want. Keep reminding yourself of the positives they have and that you want in your ideal partner.

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