Essential vs non-essential

I don't know about you, but I stopped making New Year's Resolutions some years ago. Unless it was really some clear cut goal e.g going to run the London Marathon in April.

A lot of people find that they just feel guilty and sometimes a failure because they set out with great intentions and enthusiasm but then it wanes. So why not take a different approach?

First of all take a few areas of your life where you think you'd like to make changes, whether big or small e.g. health, relationships, self-development and finances. Put them in a hierarchy, you will know when the order feels right, just listen to your body!

Let's say it's personal development at work - you want to feel more confident to be able to achieve that promotion.

Check in with yourself, is that specifically what you want, if so:

Why? What would it give you? Think big here, not just your immediate life, but out into the future. Enjoy this process.

Now what has stopped you in the past? Distractions, frightened to say 'no' and trying to be all things to all people, especially to the boss?!

Now imagine saying 'no' to all the things that in the past you've said yes to because you were too afraid to say no, or because you thought you had to do everything. Think of all the things that get in the way of you achieving your goal.

Something Greg McKeown says in his very good book, 'Essentialism', is ask yourself "So what problem do I really want to solve"? Then "what is the most essential thing I can do to achieve this RIGHT NOW?"

He calls it the disciplined pursuit of less. So instead of thinking "I have to", think, I choose tobecause it's bringing you closer to your goal.

It really is about focus. If you find this difficult to do on your own, get help, you are simply re-programming your mind towards what you want and using a different mind-set.